webnovel
WarrantyW
WarrantyWLv43yr
2021-11-23 22:04

Love the story so far, thanks.[img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend][img=recommend]

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
NotStupidReader
NotStupidReaderAuthor

iOnlyEatDinner
iOnlyEatDinnerLv5

I have to say the idea for the novel is really good and interesting enough to pull you in, however I have a list of things that could be improved upon. - First of, excessive technicalities. I get that there are a lot of thoughts behind the magical sides of this novel for world-building's sake, however the made-up technical stuffs feels too much of a filler. Even after reading the 50+ chapters, it feels like I've only read 10 chapters of other novels for how little things has happened. Considering the word count per chapter, the excessive technicalities ended up affecting the story progression. - Next is the MC's character being all over the place. It's like his character is suffering due to forceful attempts for comic relief. During his time on earth before the tutorial, he feels like a goal-driven MC similar to korean MCs of the same novel genre. However when he entered the tutorial, he became more like an arrogant self-entitled chinese MC. I don't know if it's to make him "cool", or "quirky" and set apart from the others because he used to be strong, but it feels more like he's being obnoxious. - Then there's the case for author's hindsight. Holding out details and explanations to what is actually happening behind the scenes is actually a double-edged weapon. Remember to always think of how things look like in your readers' eyes. If you hold an information that will spoil the story for the readers if they know it early, then that's good. But if it turned out to be something that wouldn't change anything if known, or maybe make the readers anticipate what's going to happen, then you're merely taking away the readers' eyes. It's a choice between mystery and later surprising revelation, and early revelation that could be looked forward to as to how it will turn out in the future.

Related Stories

Primordial Villain with a Slave Harem

Quinlan, a simple office worker finds himself transmigrated to an extremely dangerous fantasy land as a level 1 Commoner with nothing to his name but his wits - and a unique gift that accompanied his teleportation. No one in Thalorind could have predicted that this unassuming arrival would one day rise to the top, redefining the very meaning of the term 'power'... And that he may have achieved said result by joining a criminal organization and clawing his way through its ranks. In the beginning, Quinlan was painfully weak and alone but thanks to his severe trust issues, joining a team was... hard. However, he soon noticed that a lot of people have collars around their necks in this world... People that couldn't exactly betray him. Follow Quinlan's journey as he grows in strength, amasses wealth, fights to the death, and meets lovely ladies. ... Discord: https://discord.gg/bjunEkswQ3 ... Disclaimer: I'd received a few complaints from some readers that my MC is not a real villain, and I have to agree; if you're looking for some complete psycho MC who burns random farmer villages down just for fun then don't read. The MC is a ruthless man who does evil things from time to time, but only to his enemies or those he considers to be true scum. He gains no joy from tormenting strangers. Also don't read if you want a story about buying s*x slaves and r*ping them, that doesn't happen in this novel. He will treat the women he wants to be with as if they were normal people, whether they're slaves or not.

NecroBin · Fantasy
4.5
702 Chs