I have to say the idea for the novel is really good and interesting enough to pull you in, however I have a list of things that could be improved upon. - First of, excessive technicalities. I get that there are a lot of thoughts behind the magical sides of this novel for world-building's sake, however the made-up technical stuffs feels too much of a filler. Even after reading the 50+ chapters, it feels like I've only read 10 chapters of other novels for how little things has happened. Considering the word count per chapter, the excessive technicalities ended up affecting the story progression. - Next is the MC's character being all over the place. It's like his character is suffering due to forceful attempts for comic relief. During his time on earth before the tutorial, he feels like a goal-driven MC similar to korean MCs of the same novel genre. However when he entered the tutorial, he became more like an arrogant self-entitled chinese MC. I don't know if it's to make him "cool", or "quirky" and set apart from the others because he used to be strong, but it feels more like he's being obnoxious. - Then there's the case for author's hindsight. Holding out details and explanations to what is actually happening behind the scenes is actually a double-edged weapon. Remember to always think of how things look like in your readers' eyes. If you hold an information that will spoil the story for the readers if they know it early, then that's good. But if it turned out to be something that wouldn't change anything if known, or maybe make the readers anticipate what's going to happen, then you're merely taking away the readers' eyes. It's a choice between mystery and later surprising revelation, and early revelation that could be looked forward to as to how it will turn out in the future.
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Wow, thank you for an indepth review, it helps a lot. Also, I agree with you about how slow the story progresses. I will keep other things in mind, too. If you don't mind, just keep reading it and give me more comments. That will help me even more in improving my writing skills.
Things seems to have gotten on a good track in the following chapters since I've written this review. It felt like something is happening in each chapters now with less technicalities and more events. There had been a stop for the MC's chinese novel protagonist acts. I seem to not see him act that way anymore, which is good. For the third point of my review, it became apparent that he's hiding his capabilities from the organizers of the tutorial, all that's left is the later reveal of the "why?". All in all, it's going great. Thanks for your hard work.
NotStupidReader:Wow, thank you for an indepth review, it helps a lot. Also, I agree with you about how slow the story progresses. I will keep other things in mind, too. If you don't mind, just keep reading it and give me more comments. That will help me even more in improving my writing skills.
