I have only just started reading this novel so I can’t comment on much, but I have noticed something I think the author should know. The writing in chapter 8 is pretty awkward. I could tell something was off in the previous chapters but I wasn’t able to pin point it until now. I finally realized the problem while reading the fight scenes of chapter 8. The tense frequently switches from past tense to present tense. One of the main rules in writing is to choose a tense and stick with it. Otherwise it makes the pacing of each scene feel all messed up and off. Going back and editing all of the chapters with conflicting tenses and converting them all into past tense would make the story flow a lot smoother and improve the general quality of the writing. I recommend past tense because it is the one more suited to this kind of story. If you would like specific examples of where I think these problems are and could be improved. I would be happy to help.
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