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MegaMacho
MegaMachoLv63yr
2021-05-27 08:26

This is a good read, with a very interesting concept and cool plotline, but it's a raw diamond and cumbersome at some points. It needs some refinements to truly be a piece of art. *SPOILER* The protagonist has god-like deduction skills that most of the time, a good 70%, is illogical. It looks logical if you read it fast but one second more and you will see that it was impossible to deduce that. Another point is MC forced interactions and relationships with others. They are super fast, poor in any emotion or real depth, which comes to bite in the future as the MC suddenly sees Percy as a long-lost brother with 3 or 4 sentences exchange? It really bothers me, and probably many others too. I suggest making the chapters longer to fit in more detail in those parts. Even if it costs some updates, I think it's worth it. And to come up with ways to make MC fit better in the Percy Jackson plot without being forced as it is. There are some cool plots and twists never seen before in any Percy Jackson fanfic, that I enjoyed a lot. It's a good read compared to many other works on this website, and totally suggest anyone try it.

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Plebston323
Plebston323Author

Okay, I see what you mean for them all and will do better. Thank you for giving me a useful review!

MegaMacho
MegaMachoLv6

:D

Plebston323:Okay, I see what you mean for them all and will do better. Thank you for giving me a useful review!
Other Reviews
SkeleBlade
SkeleBladeLv4

I have to admit, while I wasn't too inclined on reading at first, after a while I am glad I did. The story itself is better than some other Gamer Fics that I have read in that the MC makes smart decisions in regards to some problems, and the progression of stats isn't insane. Plus each chapter so far has some heft to it, unlike other stories that have a great chapter count, but the chapter's themselves are read within 5 mins. Writing Quality (5): I found that the story is very readable, with no glaring grammar and spelling mistakes that I could find, not that I was looking all that hard. Even with the inclusion of the system, the structure is nice to look at and easy to understand. Stability of Updates (5): Way too early to say much, but so far 10-13 chapter within a week is pretty good. Story Development (5): I can say that I haven't felt myself getting bored of reading and can't wait for the next chapter. Each chapter feels fresh and entertaining, as compared to other Gamer Fics where the MC is childish and more or less copies The Gamer manhua in regards to development. Character Design (5): An interesting idea of a human who can see through the mist. So far the MC has made smart decisions, while in the moment, and while some things were being rushed, like the talk with Daedalus, I find myself liking the MC. World Background (5): Still a bit too early to say much. Nevertheless, what the readers do see is an explanation of various topics that are a bit obscure, such as Frey and his origins. On a personal not, I like harems, but I also don't want this story to be ruined with the MC trying to obtain women as if they were pokemon. Regardless of that, if there is romance in the future, just make it gradual, and try not to ruin the various shippings of the Percy Jackson universe. I would also suggest to write chapters out, but not immediately post them. You should keep to a schedule of posting chapters, as to not feel the panic of releasing a chapter everyday, resulting in substandard work, and have a backlog of chapters so that you can ocasionally take your mind off writing, as to not have writers block which has ended many stores. Overall, I am excited for this story, and feel that this story has the makings to be a great one in the future.

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RyanFic · Book&Literature
4.8
80 Chs