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Mr_Empty
Mr_EmptyLv13yr
2021-05-11 01:03

Very detailed character and world development, Great narration and good plotline. I really look forward to the upcoming chapters. good luck to both the author and the book.

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WinterTimeCrime
WinterTimeCrimeLv10

There's so much to cover but I can't spoil it, unfortunately! At first, I thought this was another eastern novel but I was quickly surprised with how fast the story shifted. Writing Quality: Despite the writer's first language not being English, most of the scenes are described quite well. Excellent story-telling and the dialogues are quite realistic. Remember, however, that not everything in a scene needs to be revealed to the reader, like specific locations, numbers, etc. leave a bit of imagery to the reader :) Stability of Updates: Too soon to tell but they seem to be on the right track. Just keep writing every day and try to make deadlines for yourself. My goal is 3 Chapters every day before the afternoon, practice makes perfect. Story Development: If I could go 7/5 I would! As soon as they talked about the borrowing system a few chapters in all I could think about was FMA and FMA: B regarding 'Equivalent Exchange.' I thought that was one of the most interesting concepts to ever exist in anime because the MCs aren't typically overpowered as they have to be creative with what they already have. You can already tell that the MC is crafty and resourceful, so it'll be interesting to see how he uses this new system and for what. Character Design: Excellent work describing each of the characters and making them memorable, from the names to the way they act. Bravo! World Background: I could easily visualize each place they were in, imagery is imperative in fiction and it seems like you know what you're doing -- you're already a ways ahead of your competition. In conclusion, love the book so far, love the idea, and can't wait to read more! P.S. With English being my second language I can totally relate to you as I can see the minor mistakes you're making in your work (imagery, diction, and sentence-structure wise) if you'd like to talk we can exchange discords :)

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