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AngelsCreed
AngelsCreedLv133yr
2021-09-27 23:18

I think this story has a lot of potential. Key points to look out for: 1) use of dialogue, think you could Make use of more dialogue. the entire story is written in Lincolns thoughts with sparse use of dialogue. 2) character development: The story is too focused on Physical development and has ignored much of lincolns mental development 3) world sEtting: the entire transition to rocks Pirates, the worlD government, strength levels are not too clear Even with the auxiliary chapter 4) Story pace: reading just the first few chapters, it Already the gives the feeling that the story will end in 10-15 chapters max. You want to make sure you have a modest goal in terms of how long this fanfic will be and pace yourself to achieve that goal

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