I know many reviews have already addressed the problem, however, I wanted to give my opinion as well. Up until chapter 10 this story is 5/5. It keeps you hook the entire way and you honestly cant help but fall for the characters. The author does an amazing job with character development and just making the reader feel like they are real people. The only issue was some grammar mistakes but it wasnt enough to take away from the emotionally gripping story. (The author only uses “he’s” for both “he’s” and “his” which is very weird. Readers have pointed it out constantly but the author doesnt seem like the type to go back and edit his work or really make changes to it. Not even talking about plot, just mistakes in writing which arent hard to pay attention too when writing the next chapter.) I did read past chapter 10 (at 23 as of writing this), and i must say it is a completely different story; in a bad way. Though i have started to see a glimpse of it possibly returning to how it was in this last chapter where the Mc and Love intrest meet once again, only time will tell if the author can actually bring it back or not. ...Major Spoilers ahead... On chapter 10, the Mc is killed before being turned. He is then reincarnated by some random god into the present timeline as a Shape-shifter with some changes. He is a close friend and childhood friend of Bella’s and the two are extremely close in a family way rather than as a romantic interest. So he essentially has 3 lives. -1st, Human on OUR earth. -2nd, Human in Twilight(past) with ties to Vampires; Mate of a Vampire. -3rd, Shape-shifter in Twilight(present) with ties to the Shape-shifters. In both the 2nd and 3rd lives he has memories of the first, yet the 3rd life has no memories of the 2nd. This causes many of the issues that the readers have. They are upset that he doesnt remember his second life when it was what got us into the story in the first place. They are upset that his personality has been changed (because he doesnt remember anything he experienced). And some more reasons. I honestly dont mind the premise but i think it was executed lazily. It was like the author just wanted to have the mc died and reincarnate into the timeline of the plot and did the first thing that came to his mind. I personally think the situation should have been... (Warning: This is my opinion. You are entitled to your own.) -Mc has an illness; Will die. -That illness seems to be burning up his body from within and no one can understand why (no vamp venom). -The Cullen’s decide to turn him to save his life but he doesnt last long enough. She regrets not turning him sooner and blames herself. Can still do the bear thing too. Though i feel like it wasnt needed, he could have died a number of ways. -Make it so his illness was actually an ‘illness’ of the soul and held similar properties to a Pheonix where in his first life he reached his destined ‘end’ and was reborn into a new life. Then in his second life, something happened causing his body to not be strong enough or contained something which caused his “attacks”, he again would reached his destined ‘end’ and is reborn into his current life. Thanks to being born as a Shape-shifter his body was able to adapt better to his unique illness and the outcome was a Lycan. -Due to the issues experienced with the second life he didnt manage to hold onto any memories and would need something to bring them back to the surface. -Due to not remembering his second life, he grew up to be a slightly different person than he was in the second life. He has the whole thing with Paula yet get rid of the lustful stuff and just make him not show romantic interest in anyone period. Their relationship is complicated with her pursuing him, yet something is holding him back, like a part of him is waiting for something. -He see’s Edythe again and has flashes of memories yet doesnt manage to fully bring them to the surface in that meeting because his 3rd life is rejecting them subconsciously due to them being foreign to him still. -Have Edythe start being a constant in his life and he feels closer to her than he has ever felt to anyone. He is plauged with flashes of memories for a while, then during some fight have him see her pendant somehow. -He regains most of his memories then but still doesnt know how to really feel as memories of his three lives cause him confusion. He doesnt know which is the true him and who he should be. -Have Edythe take him to the cabin and then they rekindle their love. -Paula becomes a source of drama as the Mc finds out about her imprinting him a while ago and he feels bad for her yet shows his stance of being with Edythe. -Paula doesnt give up and drama happens a lot between the two girls but its clear that Edythe is the main girl he loves. -At which point you could go in any direction with the romance. Thats how i personally would have had it play out but its not my story. Either way, ill continue to read and hope some of that earlier spark returns...and stop using that annoying “he’s” instead of “his” its not hard. :)
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LIKEOne last thing i forgot to add. If you went the route i mentioned, it would give reason for him being reborn again. Maybe his illness wouldnt be cure just because he became a Vamp. The illness would continue to ‘burn’ away at his life (even if he had a lot more to give) this would have only made his attacks even worse in terms of pain. He would live an eternal life of pain and anguish. He needed the body of a Shape-shifter to be able to adapt to the illness. Now that he has a strong body and higher body temperature, he isnt effect that badly by his illness and will survive a LOT longer and his destined ‘end’ wouldnt be for a long while.
Realmente deverias escribir pareces tener bastante experiencia si haces una historia y la publicas abisa, segundo eres la primera persona que como yo nota el problema del veneno de vampiro, solo digo segun canon o te combiertes o mueres no jodas hay muchas cosas que pueden matarlo. Solo eso me gustaron tus ideas.
you really ahould write a twilight story
can yu tell me where i can find ch 7 and others
