I'm hooked reading the first chapter, it's rather well written with clear tone. Though a bit info dump here and there. There's nothing to say about the Writing style—it's top-notch in WN. The author used the 3rd person Omnicient in her writing I couldn't figure out which one is it though, it's more like the true omniscient. I recommend to pick omniscient limited with first or third person. It gave more things to work with. another thing the world building, try not to info dump them. there's many other way to do it. Overall it's looking promising. Good luck author.
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LIKEThank you for your insight. I'll work on the world building and the point of view thing. Honestly, I can't promise to completely change to third person omniscient limited because it's like breaking off my train of thought and I can't connect it smoothly again. What I can do is subtly integrate it into the story though. Again, thanks for the helpful review!