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Voraisland
VoraislandLv43yr
2021-05-22 02:36

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Other Reviews
MadHatter0_o
MadHatter0_oLv3

Considering this story has barely started, I think it will be safe to say that it is NOT a review more of a wish letter. So, this is my personal opinion which is heavily biased. I hope this will be of some help to the author. I also want to say that I am a current reader of the author's other work "Journey of a legend". I might compare certain aspects of this work's writing style to that as this work is heavily unfinished. Concept: It's a very interesting and, as I have not read anything like that before, unique concept. Cultivating using artifacts that are apparently only used for making jewelry. This has a lot of scopes to introduce new things. I am very eager to see how things unfold as chapters come out. I will say that if the cultivation is half as good as "journey of a legend" then it will be awesome. But looking at the auxiliary chapter it seems this system will more than a match for that. The separation of realms and each realm with their unique rules and worlds is very intriguing too. In short, conception-wise, this work is phenomenal. Story: Amazing prologue. I really loved it and it easily catches attention. It was dark and gritty but at the same time deep. And I love the fact that you left some part to the reader's imagination and make them rationalize why Cal did what he did. I am eager to see how you develop the story. Whether you give Cal and Khal parallel life or it is something else. Characters: There aren't many characters introduced yet to talk about them. One thing I liked is that you gave a brief description of the characters' appearance (MC excluded). If possible try to include personality traits in them(Like, instead of saying brown eyes, say brown eye full of mischief). It helps to know them more and visualize easily. But this is my personal opinion so feel free to ignore it. However, I would like to state 2 major things about MC and his love interest. The prologue gives the idea of a dark MC. So, either we get a dark MC or a moderate one with extensive character development. If you suddenly change the MC's attitude without proper development it throws off the readers. I feel the need to mention this because this has already happened(in the trial). His reaction after the scuffle with that young master does not complement his backstory at all and it threw me off. Secondly, as it is a non-harem novel and unless you are planning to give us a major plot twist we already have the love interest. The issue with introducing a love interest this early is that you need to give the character the same amount of care as MC. I really like to have her a great first impression and proper development. I will just say that I would rather not have another Emma in terms of initial introduction [img=recommend]. As for world development, character development, there is no point in saying about it now. And, as for writing style and spelling mistakes, it has significantly improved in this work. so not much there to say about it. I wish you good luck with your work and looking forward to future chapters. I hope it's as good, if not better, as your other work. Thank you for your hard work. Keep it up!

NoWoRRyMaN
NoWoRRyMaNLv14
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