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Riyah404

Riyah404

Lv1
2020-09-08 JoinedGlobal
1d

Writing

3.4h

of reading

148

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4

Moments

61
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Replied to ayen_zone

    Thank you so much for the heartwarming review., :)

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    A Hell Called Serestral
    Fantasy · Riyah404
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Posted

    This is a gripping story. A page-turner. The pacing was nice and easy to follow. You can instantly feel the MC's emotion. Great job, author! Keep on writing! :) I want to read more! :)

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    The Mafia Game ( Hired Gun )
    Teen · ayen_zone
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    Nice pacing! Great job, author!

    Ch 3 Chapter 3: A Smith
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    The Mafia Game ( Hired Gun )
    Teen · ayen_zone
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Replied to Proteety_Promi

    I've added your story to my library so I can read it later., :) Thanks!

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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Posted

    This is an intriguing story with an MC that was waiting for something extraordinary to happen in her life. And when it did, I guess she was not that prepared for it. XD Who will be? The start of the story is good. Maybe it's just the impatient part of me... but I want to see why Breta was never normal at a first few chapters. Even just a hint about it. All in all, this is an interesting read. Good job! Keep on writing! :)

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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    Hmm... how did they know that her brain is special? Were they stalking her?

    "Because you are special. That brain of yours is the root of your story, darling. Did you ever notice that you can think of something quicker than others or can find a solution to a problem quickly or think of a situation from a whole new and much better and harder perspective? That's what brought you here. Yes, you are beautiful with those dark brown mysterious eyes, long brunette hair, slim figure... Things look perfect, but you know what's perfect... It's your brain."
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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    Oh., he is also saved., XD

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    does this mean that they only saved Breta and not the dying boy?

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    I'm wondering why Breta had this much confidence.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    Never Normal
    Fantasy Romance · Proteety_Promi
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Posted

    This story has an interesting plot. The main character is good and introduced quite well. The pacing is a bit fast. Maybe it's only me but there are too many dialogues. The MC is saying everything out loud. I think there are times that we need to see what the MC is seeing and not just hear it from him. Grammar also needs to be improved. But all in all this story has potential. Keep on improving and updating!

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    The Dream Saga
    Fantasy · wookie0_
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    an ability to get a glimpse of the future seemed more of a curse than a gift. you can see it but you cannot entirely change it.

    This paragraph has been deleted.
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    The Dream Saga
    Fantasy · wookie0_
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Posted

    This story had an intriguing start and the writing quality is great. The pacing of the story is a bit slow. But I guess it is needed for character and relationship building. You have a good story here! Keep on updating! :)

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    The Revelation Of Mankind
    Fantasy · BlindBandit
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    intriguing start., nice one., :)

    Ch 1 Prologue (Nightmares)
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    The Revelation Of Mankind
    Fantasy · BlindBandit
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Posted

    This is an interesting story about rebirth. The author writes so well that you can easily feel the main character and relate to her. I want to see how the MC will create a difference now that she had been reborn. Great job! :) Keep on updating! :)

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    Golden Flames of Tomorrow
    Fantasy Romance · Harietta_Brews118
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4041mth
    Commented

    wow., a nice start to a story., :)

    Ch 1 Prologue: Re-awakening
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    Golden Flames of Tomorrow
    Fantasy Romance · Harietta_Brews118
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4042mth
    Replied to Winterwisps

    I also thought about the chapter becoming too long because of that. But maybe you can start on the last part and the MC asking himself where did his plan go wrong. Just a suggestion., :)

    Ch 1 A Promise of Balance
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    Rattus Rex
    Fantasy · Winterwisps
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4042mth
    Replied to E_Stunner_Official

    Thank you! :)

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    A Hell Called Serestral
    Fantasy · Riyah404
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4042mth
    Commented

    Is this part of Leo's power? Frighten anyone he made eye contact with? I'm hoping that is the case because I don't think that this redhead will be frightened that easily. She is an assassin after all.

    What was happening to him? "O... Okay. Stop it, you're scaring me." My voice trembled and his dark eyes took some time and flickered again, back to their original bright blue color.
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    Behind Their World
    Fantasy · Ella Stunner
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4042mth
    Posted

    This story has a nice idea about people with supernatural gifts. But I think the pacing is too fast for me to follow. Too many dialogues and less explanation of what was happening around the characters. I also think that there are too many points of view. I also think that readers need to feel more with the characters. Not just because the characters said it but because they felt it. You have a nice idea., Keep on improving! :)

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    Behind Their World
    Fantasy · Ella Stunner
    detail
  • Riyah404
    Riyah4042mth
    Commented

    This story has a nice idea. But I think the pacing is too fast for me to follow and too many points of view. And do five minutes have some significance in this story? Is it their standard waiting time? Maybe it is only me but it's too long., And I think if Leo can convince the girl to talk with them, he should not have left Darren in the first place. If Darren is so important to him, why leave him in a dangerous place?

    Ch 4 Chapter 3: Blue or Black
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    Behind Their World
    Fantasy · Ella Stunner
    detail