I must say that it's extremely well written and has barely any grammar issues which is rather rare on this platform. The only issue I have with this story is that it is incredibly dull and lacks passion. It just feels like reading text instead of being in a story. The main two characters, Max and Hermione both feel very unemotional and unenthusiastic towards mostly everything. The pacing is extremely fast which is good since we've all read the same events that take place in Hogwarts a dozen times at the very least. I suppose the take of the author on the Harry Potter world is just too realistic which makes it lack passion and excitement.
Liked by 39 people
LIKEI think it the tenses. Narrations should have only one tense. And usually past tense works the best. While this author uses both past and present tense in the same paragraph and sometimes in the sane sentence. Honestly this is something that annoys me very much. I have had easier time reading raw novels through google translate, because the tenses stay the same.
Lossutra:Yeah, the sentences just feel weird.