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SnowRose
SnowRoseLv143yr
2021-03-06 21:08

This is a very interesting fanfiction centered in the Harry Potter world. Its not your typical ‘Hogwarts’ ‘Harry Potter’ centered story and instead heads down a new path which i respect the author for. Pros: -Unique when compared to other HP fanfics. -Still holds true to the HP world. -Interesting backstory for the main character and he was introduced pretty well. -Author is intentive to the readers feelings and while he makes mistakes, its clear he cares about the story’s progress going foward. Now the negative aspects arent game changing but they can be annoying at times. Thankfully its clear the author is trying to improve and is taking the readers thoughts into account. Cons: -Grammar can sometimes take a quality hit. An editor who went through the chapters and fixed them up could improve the story drastically. The word count could be increased per chapter and it would make the overall story more captivating. -The author tends to forget what he wrote sometimes which can lead to confusion. -Situations tend to jump out from seemingly no where. Characters and character backstorys seem to be interjected into the story at random points and dont really have any ‘sticking power’ they arent captivating and readers honestly dont really care about side characters they dont find interesting. Lucas and Lucifer are examples. The only characters i care about at this point are the MC, the original cast (Fleur), and the Magic Theory teacher is starting to get interesting. Hopefully the author will spend some more time trying to flesh out characters before moving the plot too far ahead where they become irrelevant. I personally would recommend slowing down updates, extending chapter length by about double its current length, and not worry about rushing things. I would pref the first 100 chapters be dedicated to character development so a firm base is established. Final thoughts: Read it. Its worth the read and it has potential to be a great HP story so long as the author continues to take readers suggestions while holding true to their own vision. It may be challenging but the end product would be something great.

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Dune_
Dune_Lv1

Thank you for your accurate review

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