webnovel
0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author4yr
2021-01-10 21:08

Here we go boys, here we fucking go! I finally sold out and started a System story. Let's see if I can actually make it be something worth reading instead of a pile of crap. And if not, come lambast me for it!

Liked by 188 people

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Replies65
0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author

I began rewriting it because attempting the typical web-novel system trash just bugged me when I attempted it.

The content has been deleted
Harem_fan
Harem_fanLv5

So far it looks really good, so a helpful hint of advice from a harem enthusiast is to keep it tame and vanilla...and most lemons can be done off screen...Make the harem about love and not Pokemon...and you will do just fine.

0_Jordinio_0:I began rewriting it because attempting the typical web-novel system trash just bugged me when I attempted it.
Immortal_Panda
Immortal_PandaLv14

Is this dropped?

18484746
18484746Lv4

Im still waiting for this to be updated

FrangKenStain
FrangKenStainLv3

man, I'm a fan of yours, especially the Yugioh fanfic you write, stacking the deck, but all the fanfics you write are unfinished, it's really frustrating. English is not my mother tongue, sorry if there are many spelling mistakes.

N_Nelson
N_NelsonLv4

Are u going to leave this fic halfway, cuz please don't it's really good

Kinglur
KinglurLv5

bro you have a good talent writing, it's just that it frustrates us when we start reading your fanfics only for you to leave us blueballed constantly

0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author

Well, can't really do that anymore, authors can only upload 20 stories on this website. So I can really only upload one more, and that's just from replacing an abandoned thing.

Kinglur:bro you have a good talent writing, it's just that it frustrates us when we start reading your fanfics only for you to leave us blueballed constantly
Kinglur
KinglurLv5

by the emperor and the chaos gods I swear I'll read it just don't drop it

0_Jordinio_0:Well, can't really do that anymore, authors can only upload 20 stories on this website. So I can really only upload one more, and that's just from replacing an abandoned thing.
LegendaryToester
LegendaryToesterLv14

Will you ever go back to your old story’s like the tales of demons and gods one?

0_Jordinio_0:Well, can't really do that anymore, authors can only upload 20 stories on this website. So I can really only upload one more, and that's just from replacing an abandoned thing.
Dark_Wiz
Dark_WizLv4

why do u keep making new works when none of your previous good works are completed? also it's not like they didn't receive support they are pretty good fics yet u just drop them and hop on to new one for no good reason.

0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author

Tales of Demons and Gods is at the farthest back, cuz I'm waiting on it getting more chapters.

LegendaryToester:Will you ever go back to your old story’s like the tales of demons and gods one?
iOnlyEatDinner
iOnlyEatDinnerLv5

While I like your other stories, I think this one is the best so far just from the development alone. It doesn't feel too rushed nor does it feel like he's already trying to fight the big leagues when the story hasn't gotten far yet. I'm only full of praise with the way you're managing your OC's power-levels right now. Judging from his plans and the cover, you seem to plan to get him Isobu later on in order to fight the increasingly OP enemies later in the story. I hope you don't lose your direction and motivation, Author. Looking forward to how this story will turn out.

Sirrow
SirrowLv14

Bruh bro tales of demons and gods has 381,5 chapters out and the novel schould be by now finisched

0_Jordinio_0:Tales of Demons and Gods is at the farthest back, cuz I'm waiting on it getting more chapters.
0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author

When I wrote the Tales of Demons and Gods fanfic, it had 330 chapters.

Sirrow:Bruh bro tales of demons and gods has 381,5 chapters out and the novel schould be by now finisched
Sirrow
SirrowLv14

Author bro you are writing fanfic not a comic could‘nt you write to the draconic realm arc and then wait

0_Jordinio_0:When I wrote the Tales of Demons and Gods fanfic, it had 330 chapters.
0_Jordinio_0
0_Jordinio_0Author

It's the motivation that is the problem. There's so few fanfictions and such to keep me in the mood.

Sirrow:Author bro you are writing fanfic not a comic could‘nt you write to the draconic realm arc and then wait
Sirrow
SirrowLv14

Ah je the motivation that is i hope you regain you motivation some day and have you ever thaugt about writing tensei slime fanfic ?

0_Jordinio_0:It's the motivation that is the problem. There's so few fanfictions and such to keep me in the mood.
Justin_McIlwain
Justin_McIlwainLv1

There is none bro, your chilling

FrangKenStain:man, I'm a fan of yours, especially the Yugioh fanfic you write, stacking the deck, but all the fanfics you write are unfinished, it's really frustrating. English is not my mother tongue, sorry if there are many spelling mistakes.
Alonemusk
AlonemuskLv3

Is there clone playing around with girls in this fic Author bro.

Other Reviews
RodolfoMaou
RodolfoMaouLv13

The fanfic offers a refreshing start with its descriptive writing, which is both easy to read and infused with a unique personality. The narrative quickly distinguishes itself from most others in the genre, drawing readers in with its vivid imagery and engaging prose. The inclusion of a "System" is handled with a delicate touch, providing a numerical gauge of the main character's strength without overwhelming the story. This lightweight approach keeps the focus on the character's journey rather than getting bogged down in mechanics. The initial arc is nothing short of captivating. It showcases the main character's tenacity and strategic thinking as he navigates the challenges of being a low-ranked Genin. This period of intense effort and risk-taking lays a solid foundation for his growth, making his subsequent rise in power both believable and rewarding. The second arc serves as a powerful motivator, setting the stage for even greater achievements in the third arc. However, the story's momentum falters dramatically during the Chunin Exams. This arc, which dominates nearly half of the narrative, undermines the main character's likability, dilutes the side characters' development, and disrupts the pacing. Initially, the main character's personality is a highlight of the story. His modest arrogance and relentless work ethic make him relatable and compelling. The mantra of "grind" becomes a defining trait, adding depth to both the character and the plot. Yet, as he gains more power, his arrogance spirals out of control, and his condescension towards others becomes grating. The anticipated humbling moment, where his flaws are addressed and his character matures, never arrives. Instead, he remains insufferably arrogant despite his relatively modest achievements on a grand scale. The side-cast is introduced with commendable depth and originality, deviating from typical fanfic portrayals without straying out of character. This well-rounded characterization, coupled with sharp dialogue, enriches the interactions between the main character and others. These interactions feel genuine, giving the impression that the side characters have lives and motivations of their own. Sadly, the Chunin Exams reduce these vibrant characters to mere spectators, stripping away their earlier complexity and relegating them to passive roles. The battles are another early strength of the story. They are fluid, well-structured, and showcase creative uses of jutsu, particularly the main character's signature techniques. However, the Chunin Exams mark a turning point where the main character's fights become predictably one-sided and devoid of tension. His overpowered nature, coupled with narrative constraints that prevent him from acting out fully, leads to a series of monotonous and uninspiring conflicts. A significant downside, present from the beginning but worsening over time, is the main character's interactions with female characters. His pervasive flirting and vulgar descriptions of their bodies quickly become tiresome. This behavior escalates into outright sexual harassment, eroding the personalities of the women in the story. Additionally, his antagonism towards every male character further detracts from his supposed hard-working mentality, making him appear more like a lust-driven predator than a dedicated ninja. This flaw, like his arrogance, is never resolved. Overall, the fanfic starts strong with a well-thought-out plot and engaging characters, but it takes an abysmal dive during the Chunin Exams arc. This pivotal section of the story introduces a host of flaws that gradually erode its initial charm, leaving an empty husk of what once held great promise. The best approach to reading this is to enjoy it up to the beginning of the Chunin Exam Arc and then imagine it concludes there. It's a disappointing turn of events, as the author initially displayed a rare talent for fanfic writing, only to let it be marred by poor execution in later chapters.

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