webnovel
PoeticSonic
PoeticSonicLv43yr
2021-02-21 11:49

grammer, maybe a few here and there, English isn't my first language nor am i too proficient so as long as it's readable and fluid then i really don't care for the small mistakes so 5/5. character design, the character design is dog shit. it's too bad, even most eastern fantasy novels aren't that bad, i don't even know where to start...actually i do, i will start from the very first few paragraphs. the author starts with a "glimpse" of the future of how in 3 years the MC is gonna be op and guess what the people chant his name as? they call him "crimson lord" dude, the cringe level was so high it covered me like a coat, it would have been ironically less edgy if the people chanted "edge lord" lmao. he took the "im trash so i get abused and bullied" way too fuken far and he didn't give valid excuses yet. forget committing suicide, I'm surprised that he's alive, and for someone as "trash" as him, why does everybody put so much energy into torturing him and putting him an inch away from life and their lives revolve around it like wtf?! also, the author like to tell rather than show, he says that the mc is smart but the mc keeps on doing dumb and stupid things. when it comes to other characters, if they aren't literally trying to kill the mc ust because he has a "trash" power, they are shitting on him about why he still didn't kill himself. and all of them are very obnoxious like holy shit, i would have killed myself whether i have a strong or weak power by virtue of me having to hear these people talk on a daily basis. that goes for the system too, it's annoying as ****. overall 3/5 just cuz i think there is potential for the story and i don't want to lower the rating too much stability...well it's pretty stable let's hope it stays that way, for now, there haven't been too many chapters.5/5 story development, i like the fact that it's gonna have to do with space soon enough and meeting new species so on and so forth and that's mostly where the 4 starts to come from, i took only 1 star which is something very generous as what we saw in the first chapter as a glimpse to the future was hella cringe but i can see many ways the author can improve upon it so by the time it's the period where the glimpse of the future showed, he could change things so it isn't as cringe. also, the story is very very forced, like a constipated person trying to take a shit.

Liked by 44 people

LIKE
Replies7
TimVic
TimVicAuthor

Wow this is a low rating and I won't lie, it kinds of makes me feel weird but you did raise some valid points. The whole Crimson Lord thingy was not well thought out I admit. As for the character design... I mentioned it earlier that Gustav is a shame to mixedblood. He doesn't get bullied by normal people only by mixed bloods. About him being smart, I also mentioned that he was smart in studies or better still intelligent but when it comes to real life situations he's not smart. I won't explain why the system is like that because it would be a spoiler. As for the plot which you say is forced... I would like for you to elaborate. I would also like to know if you're still gonna continue reading because I can assure you that there will be improvement.

PoeticSonic
PoeticSonicLv4

first of all, i want to make something clear, i did the review for a specific reason and it isn't to bash you. it's good that you're very invested in people's views as i would like to clarify a few things, i wrote the review as i was thinking about each point so it wasn't too coherent. about the system, look buddy I completely understand, you don't even need to justify why it acts that way although I know it's a valid reason, even if there wasn't it's just creative freedom some might like it and some might don't so don't worry about it. I pointed out the way the system behaved because it compounded all the things that are happening around him, it like kicking somebody who's already down. as for the treatment by mixed-bloods, I think in my review I said something about how it wasn't enough of a reason for them to do what they did to him on that level and how people of authority care little about the attempted murder that keeps happening to him on a semi-regular base. look i get it, they "bully" (which is a vast understatement to what was done to him) because he has a "trash" ability, as a person with 2.5 brain cells remaining active can still see the larger ramifications of what they are doing that just gets dismissed. brother, in the story it says that it has been thousands of years, even if it was only a few 100, you are telling me that somehow he with mixed blood even if it was the most useless is treated that way, yet a human or an alien gets treated better even though they are powerless? on the other point of view, do you not think that the humans and the aliens should be shitting their pants right now, looking at how they treat their own kind and calling him useless and how they totally disregard his well being, if that happens to one of their own then how worse would they be treated if mixed-bloods chose to suddenly treat the humans and aliens in the same way. if you showed even a slight bit of a reaction from the humans and aliens who have no power and hint about the fear they feel inside about how one day they will be treated in the same way then not only will it make your novel's world-building richer BUT you can have more content to write about maybe how humans and aliens are trying to preserve themselves in these changing and cold times. you already hinted about shady things happening in the background like mixblood organ trafficking so the seeds are already there, the world-building is the rich soil and your writing is the process that will grow the plant, the better the soil and the more quality seeds there are, the more quality healthy plants you're gonna get(content). i will give you s viewpoint of an arrogant mixed-blood... if a trash mixed blood is shameful then how shameful would it be if it was found out that mixed-bloods originated from week and helpless humans and aliens that ran away thousands of years ago with their tail between their legs. wouldn't they want to hide that truth? as for the whole crimson lord issue at the start, as i said before, it was a small glimpse and we didn't get much from the future MC which is a GOOD thing as now, you can build on the character and show the same scene in the start of the novel but with a whole new point of view which can be funny or point out how the MC actually feels. very few titles stick and sound cool rather than cringy and most of those titles don't have something like "lord, prince, etc" it can be something somewhat mediocre or something that isn't grand in normal life but when you apply it to the person with the title, knowing the reason behind the name, that makes it cool...case in point Korean zombie, he's a ufc fighter for korea, if you call somebody a zombie in real life, they would take it as an insult but it's cool on Korean zombie because he's a beast who has one of the strongest chins in the Ufc taking punches, kicks, and elbow...(well maybe not elbow lmao) and he keeps fighting.

TimVic:Wow this is a low rating and I won't lie, it kinds of makes me feel weird but you did raise some valid points. The whole Crimson Lord thingy was not well thought out I admit. As for the character design... I mentioned it earlier that Gustav is a shame to mixedblood. He doesn't get bullied by normal people only by mixed bloods. About him being smart, I also mentioned that he was smart in studies or better still intelligent but when it comes to real life situations he's not smart. I won't explain why the system is like that because it would be a spoiler. As for the plot which you say is forced... I would like for you to elaborate. I would also like to know if you're still gonna continue reading because I can assure you that there will be improvement.
PoeticSonic
PoeticSonicLv4

a few fighters got a title like emperor but they never called them if just the title, for example, Fedor Emelianenko was called the last emperor. he got it for many reasons and not his legendary fighting career but also how he did it and even he was never just called by his title they always said his name and then the title in passing later on so when they chanted, they chanted his name not the title unless it's in special cases so they can point out how amazing he was. also, another way to make a character/ fighter look cool is by attaching a slogan to their name. for example, another fighter called cro cop had a slogan that people wanted to point out how amazing he was, his slogan that PEOPLE gave him is " right leg hospital, left leg cemetery" because he had phenomenal kicks and his lead kick was his left leg. another fighter called Kazushi Sakuraba was given the title "the gacie hunter" and other even call him "the Gracie killer" because he defeated a member of the family who MADE jiu-jitsu which at the time was undefeated and then they sent out more family members to defeat him yet he won over all of them and at many times, it was under their own rules. the history for those people to get the title which makes the titles cool not the other way around. i know you can do it. you have rock-solid foundations and creativity. i already put the story in my library. i was mostly frustrated because i like the concept and the writing of the story

TimVic:Wow this is a low rating and I won't lie, it kinds of makes me feel weird but you did raise some valid points. The whole Crimson Lord thingy was not well thought out I admit. As for the character design... I mentioned it earlier that Gustav is a shame to mixedblood. He doesn't get bullied by normal people only by mixed bloods. About him being smart, I also mentioned that he was smart in studies or better still intelligent but when it comes to real life situations he's not smart. I won't explain why the system is like that because it would be a spoiler. As for the plot which you say is forced... I would like for you to elaborate. I would also like to know if you're still gonna continue reading because I can assure you that there will be improvement.
TimVic
TimVicAuthor

Wow this is a lot. Thank you for reading and pointing out these things. I will make sure to improve the story to the best of my abilities. Thanks once again

PoeticSonic:a few fighters got a title like emperor but they never called them if just the title, for example, Fedor Emelianenko was called the last emperor. he got it for many reasons and not his legendary fighting career but also how he did it and even he was never just called by his title they always said his name and then the title in passing later on so when they chanted, they chanted his name not the title unless it's in special cases so they can point out how amazing he was. also, another way to make a character/ fighter look cool is by attaching a slogan to their name. for example, another fighter called cro cop had a slogan that people wanted to point out how amazing he was, his slogan that PEOPLE gave him is " right leg hospital, left leg cemetery" because he had phenomenal kicks and his lead kick was his left leg. another fighter called Kazushi Sakuraba was given the title "the gacie hunter" and other even call him "the Gracie killer" because he defeated a member of the family who MADE jiu-jitsu which at the time was undefeated and then they sent out more family members to defeat him yet he won over all of them and at many times, it was under their own rules. the history for those people to get the title which makes the titles cool not the other way around. i know you can do it. you have rock-solid foundations and creativity. i already put the story in my library. i was mostly frustrated because i like the concept and the writing of the story
Ethanquiv
EthanquivLv14

That is the longest webnovel review I have ever seen

CriticalReader
CriticalReaderLv2

the excessive bullying of protagonists to draw sympathy from readers is cringe it is irrational how every character just accepts it as normal

nihiility
nihiilityLv2

This is one of the most detailed review I've read, thanks man

Other Reviews
xxReedxx
xxReedxxLv3

Review based on what i have read so far ( chapter 60+) It's my personal opinion so if you have anything against on what I'm going to say you can write your own review 1. the world background- can't say much since the story is in early stage. So far I like how the author described the world setting, events and characters interaction. 2. pacing of the story- as a reader, personally, i feel like the author did a great job regulating this. It's not so slow where you'll be skipping words for unwanted fillers. It's not so fast where you'll feel like you missed out something. It's the best a reader can ask for, we'll, aside from the cliffhangers. 3. MC's character development- looking at things the way they progressed. His character development is understandable for me, for short i like the way the mc progress. He's a bit edgy at times, it's expected given how he lived his life up to this point. Hoping there will be some progress between him and a certain someone, i will not give a name but she's very likeable. 4. MC's system- there are not much interaction between the mc and the system unlike other novels. It has its own advantages for the mc just like every other mc, but it's not up to the point where i will call it OP. MC still has to do his part to gain something. 5. Characters surrounding the mc- they are not plain to read. They have their own depth and mystery that will make you want to know more about them. Of course, we can't forget about the stepping stones for our mc, some of them are stupid as usual while some are smart and think for themselves when to back out- unlike the stupid ones. The mc is ruthless and i like it, im not really into naive and goody-two-shoes kind. Realistically speaking, if you look at every great person at the top in our current world despite their different attitudes they all have similarities if you study them. Yes they act and do good things to look good in front of us but is that really there is? No, i think not, they're just good at hiding their worse side from our plain eyes. Every person at the top knew both the black and white of life. As what Niccolo Machiavelli said "a wise prince should be both fear and love".

TimVic
TimVicAuthor

Almost three hundred chapters have been published at the time of writing this review. Spoiler alert: I will like to give a breakdown of our journey so far. From 1 - 150+ was volume one. These chapters contained scenes of the MC's growth, both in abilities as well as character. You may like or dislike his character sometimes when reading because character development is was kind of constant. So based on the situation he may change a little. Things might not have been executed in the best way possible in terms of breaking down explanations that were written in later chapters. This was done to prevent info dumps and fillers. Everything unexplained was later explained in the future chapters without a single detail omitted. The next volume which is currently ongoing has several mini-arcs. The first mini-arc was just concluded. It comprised of the MBO entrance test as well as a few scenes giving explanations to things that happened during the six weeks time skip. Also, a few scenes showing us happenings outside of the MBO test arc were included. The test arc went on for longer than I intended. Some readers that might feel the need to skip scenes to find explanations on the kitchen accident as well as what happened during the six weeks time jump, can head to chapter 294. I've written side stories where everything that was skipped in the past chapters was tabled out in scenes. After the side chapters, we will continue with the current storyline which leads on to Gustav's life within the MBO camp. For new and old readers, Chapters 1 - 161 are being edited to give you all a better reading experience. Thank you all for the support so far. Peace out ✌️ -TimVic

whatwhatintheworldLv15

For referenece, im currently on chapter 89 out of 730ish. I feel like I've read enough to get the general vibe of the novel. So far, I have a lot of mixed feelings about this novel. I'm going to list my pro's and con's and if I don't drop this I'll come back and update this review. Pros: - Unlike other system novels, the system doesn't baby the protagonist. He has to figure thing out himself for the most part, which is refreshing. - The bloodline powers are really unique so far and I really like how his initial power was upgraded to something useful but not incredibly op. Hopefully the power scaling for him isn't to crazy and he doesnt bulldoze through everything later on. Cons: - Everyone from his parents to his classmates are cartoonishly evil. It seems like 90% of the characters in this novel are there so protag has a reason to act edgy and think the worlds against him. For example, I can understand his younger brother acting like a brat and cursing him at every moment because hes a child but his mother doing the same makes no sense in my opinion. If author wanted a "cold/abusive" parent making them treat protag like air/ being extremely distant would make more sense. Instead his mother also reads like an annoying brat despite being an adult...Same thing with school mates. It would have been more believable if only the main 3 bullies in the beginning were after him and everyone else was just distant and cold. - The protag is way to edgy are certain points. For example, I have no idea why he treats FL horribly from the moment they meet. Its not like they have a bad history, he just seems to hate her for no real reason. I couldn't understand why he slams the door in her face on there second or third meeting...You think since everyone else is so aggressively mean to him he would appreciate who ever is nice to him. Author says its for characters development but an explanation on why hes so edgy in these types of situations is needed for this to even be remotely believable.

Related Stories

Earth's Greatest Magus

#Top 20 Webnovel Best Sellers 2021, 2022, 2023, and in 2024 #### History is said to be written by the victors. If so, how about Earth's history? Two millennia ago, a young boy named Emery met a tragic fate. In his final moments, he was transmigrated and accepted into the Universe's most prestigious school of magic. “You are among the chosen few from thousands of human worlds. Whether you seize this opportunity or not, is up to you. You are at Magus Academy, the pinnacle of humanity's ingenuity. Magic, science, and might are all within reach for those who dare to pursue them." [Scan complete - Quadruple affinity. Water, Earth, Plant, and Darkness.] "A quadruple acolyte! Only one in tens of thousands of acolytes possess this!" Thus began Emery’s journey together with his 4 friends from the furthest corner of Earth. Each year they returned to Earth to grow, seek revenge, save the princess, conquer the world, and become Earth's Greatest Magus. Their names are still etched in our history books to this day. Authors Note: I have always been fascinated by writing fantasy relating to historical facts. In this story, you will find characters inspired by real-world myth and legend. The universe I created hopefully will make the reader's imagination excited and logically plausible. I hope you enjoy it. ### Here are some key aspects you'll encounter: MC: The protagonist follows the classic weak-to-strong arc. World: Picture a blend of Harry Potter and Star Wars. System: While it's primarily a magic-based story, there's a structured system in place that's easy to follow. Additionally, elements of cultivation. Harem: No, there are several female interests. But I enjoy romance first. So even if there will be more than one love interest it will be deep. Note: English is not my first language, but you'll notice that my writing and English skills gradually improve throughout the chapters. Other: The novel delves into deep research on science and history, enriching the storyline with factual and intriguing details. Give it a read—you might be pleasantly surprised by what unfolds. Check Out the Video Trailer on youtube type "Earth's Greatest Magus"

Avan · Fantasy
4.5
2514 Chs

Strongest Mage with the Lust system

[ Warning: Mature content R-18 ] Is death a new begining? For Max, it was. Max, a twenty-year-old virgin, got attacked by a bear in forest and died an untimely death. Fortunately for him... that wasn't the end to his story. In the next instant, he found himself transmigrated into the body of a noble's youngest son in a world full of Magic, wonders and... beautiful women. As if God was making up for his untimely death, he also got a system -The Lust System. "I can become stronger just by having sex?" Join the journey of Max and watch he have the time of his life and become the strongest mage the world had ever seen before. ______________________________ [Things to be noted] 1. From the title, you should've guessed it already but let me tell you the story will be filled with many sexual adventures. So... you are welcome to enjoy them..... 2. However... don't expect MC to have sexual relations with every woman he meets. I'll be focusing on the story, and would 'Try' not to blindly throw sex scenes left and right. 3. Most importantly, this is my first time writing so the the quality of first 50 or so may be a bit lacking (But it would cause you no problem if a few minor errors don't bother you). 4. It is a slow paced story. If you want everything to be explosive and fast, maybe this isn't for you. Important Note: If you enjoy the story then don't forget to vote your GTs, Power stones and also if you can, send some GIFTS too. This poor soul would appreciate it. Also check out My other work: [ Rise of the Strongest War God ] & [ My perverted devil system ] Happy reading~ ________________

Blizzard54k · Fantasy
4.5
768 Chs

Celestial Bloodline

Kyle's life was lazy and ordinary, but little did he know something extraordinary lay dormant deep inside his body. All his life, he remained unaware that everything happens for a reason. Everything changed when he turned 16. His older brothers, fed up with his laziness, devised a plan to teach him a lesson. They urged him to take the entrance test for a prestigious academy, thinking that getting a beating in the test would instill some sense into their lazy brother. Kyle was stunned, speechless, but due to their coordinated planning, he reluctantly agreed with a hint of resignation. "I don't think I will pass the test anyway, so trying it for the experience isn't a big deal." "The only problem is, I can't guarantee that all my body parts will stay intact until the end of the entrance test." But to Kyle's shock, he passed the test without even lifting a finger! Still, he was convinced that he would eventually be kicked out of the academy due to his lack of strength. But the moment he set foot in the academy, he discovered something incredible about himself. He was special and nature's favorite. . . . ______ (#It's my first time writing. So, support me with ps, gt and gifts. Hehe, THANK YOU) (Note: The cover is not mine, found it from pinterest. All credits go to the owner who can ring me up in the comment section if he/she wants me to remove it.) It might be empty right now and maybe needs more work, but there's finally a Discord server! ^^ Link; https://discord.gg/eBBXatxWVb

_Orange_ · Fantasy
4.5
833 Chs