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bee_333
bee_333Lv34yr
2021-01-07 21:41

The plot is a good one. The writing quality is okay, the characters are well-formed and the MC is lovable. In all the story is well written.

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Write_D_Words
Write_D_WordsAuthor

Thank you , the other chapters are still being review for editting and ficing technical issues. Sorry for the inconvenience.

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Youngbloodateyes
YoungbloodateyesLv1
BlueBlueLemon
BlueBlueLemonLv4

I will be critical in this... First I like to mention is the way how the story begins. It is a very bold move by the author to have our protagonist share her story to an outsider. Not on the story itself, but rather on literature standpoint. It is difficult for a reader to get into it when it starts like this. One should be good at making sure the details of our protagonist story have been written to fit perfectly the setting. Did the author did a good job regarding this.--Yeah, they did, kinda. That leads me to the next point I want to tackle... On the first three chapters, it is clear that the author has somewhat cleaned up these chapters compared to the rest, so all is good. But when you move to the following chapters, it becomes obvious that everything seems to be contained in a single paragraph. There are many points where I need to backread twice just to understand what I was reading (I know the author plans to fix this, so I kudos to the author.) The Plot... Not too much to be said except ENGAGING. The story has not yet reached the point where one can say it is the best book they have read, but I can see it happening when more chapters are released. The Writing Quality... I understand that the author may not be a native English speaker (like me), so it is excusable. The book is still early, and improvements are certain as the author continues to update. I might suggest working on the consistency of tenses in verbs. OVERALL: Messy, but the author is heading in the right direction. P.S. Having spaces before and after a comma are triggering me.

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