webnovel
Spirit_Realm
Spirit_RealmLv23yr
2021-01-12 15:39

I liked how your dialogues are a little funny because they keep readers entertained, but sometimes they've become too much. I can see there is potential, and like to see how this story progresses. To be honest, I got confused at your title, but after reading it seemed to fit the story. Maybe add a little bit more tweak to the world description. But still, it was a fun read. I'm cheering for you Author-sama! XD

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Write_D_Words
Write_D_WordsAuthor

I'll probably re-edit all the finished chapters to make more clearer. Since the long paragraphs are a bit confusing for the others , and some also understands even if it is long.

Other Reviews
Youngbloodateyes
YoungbloodateyesLv1
BlueBlueLemon
BlueBlueLemonLv4

I will be critical in this... First I like to mention is the way how the story begins. It is a very bold move by the author to have our protagonist share her story to an outsider. Not on the story itself, but rather on literature standpoint. It is difficult for a reader to get into it when it starts like this. One should be good at making sure the details of our protagonist story have been written to fit perfectly the setting. Did the author did a good job regarding this.--Yeah, they did, kinda. That leads me to the next point I want to tackle... On the first three chapters, it is clear that the author has somewhat cleaned up these chapters compared to the rest, so all is good. But when you move to the following chapters, it becomes obvious that everything seems to be contained in a single paragraph. There are many points where I need to backread twice just to understand what I was reading (I know the author plans to fix this, so I kudos to the author.) The Plot... Not too much to be said except ENGAGING. The story has not yet reached the point where one can say it is the best book they have read, but I can see it happening when more chapters are released. The Writing Quality... I understand that the author may not be a native English speaker (like me), so it is excusable. The book is still early, and improvements are certain as the author continues to update. I might suggest working on the consistency of tenses in verbs. OVERALL: Messy, but the author is heading in the right direction. P.S. Having spaces before and after a comma are triggering me.

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