webnovel
BlueBlueLemon
BlueBlueLemonLv43yr
2021-01-13 22:51

I will be critical in this... First I like to mention is the way how the story begins. It is a very bold move by the author to have our protagonist share her story to an outsider. Not on the story itself, but rather on literature standpoint. It is difficult for a reader to get into it when it starts like this. One should be good at making sure the details of our protagonist story have been written to fit perfectly the setting. Did the author did a good job regarding this.--Yeah, they did, kinda. That leads me to the next point I want to tackle... On the first three chapters, it is clear that the author has somewhat cleaned up these chapters compared to the rest, so all is good. But when you move to the following chapters, it becomes obvious that everything seems to be contained in a single paragraph. There are many points where I need to backread twice just to understand what I was reading (I know the author plans to fix this, so I kudos to the author.) The Plot... Not too much to be said except ENGAGING. The story has not yet reached the point where one can say it is the best book they have read, but I can see it happening when more chapters are released. The Writing Quality... I understand that the author may not be a native English speaker (like me), so it is excusable. The book is still early, and improvements are certain as the author continues to update. I might suggest working on the consistency of tenses in verbs. OVERALL: Messy, but the author is heading in the right direction. P.S. Having spaces before and after a comma are triggering me.

To Hate Ice Cream

Write_D_Words
4.6
69 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies2
Write_D_Words
Write_D_WordsAuthor

Thank you very much for the critique! it will help me grow!

3yr
leowebnovel
leowebnovelLv1

Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.

3yr
Other Reviews
Write_D_Words
Write_D_WordsAuthor

Readers , Do not forget to put it on your library and stay tuned for more updates! [img=recommend] Keep supporting me as I slowly grow to be a better author.

3yr

Write_D_Words
Write_D_WordsAuthor

Since I cannot edit the previous comment I posted I'll post a new pin. I need help in detecting some grammar issues. You can comment the part where it has errors. Thank you very much readers! -More loves and more updates from me! ❤️❤️

3yr
Youngbloodateyes
YoungbloodateyesLv1

3yr
Babybear
BabybearLv1

to tell the truth, when I was reading the book I was having a little difficulty remembering the names of the characters, but right now cause the story is so good the characters' names stay in my mind by themselves. And that's where I recognize a book that has potential. I really am looking forward to the new chapters. keep up the good work.[img=recommend].

4yr
Nomed_Forcraziness
Nomed_ForcrazinessLv2

.................................................. I really like the way how the story is wrritten. plus the story development is unique. The efforts can be clearly seen through this book. I really enjoyed. Thank you for your hard work . hoping for more in the future.

3yr
TheUnknownEntity
TheUnknownEntityLv4

the story is good from what I read so far but I hope you put more spaces in every chapter or break it into smaller chunks. but Its great [img=recommend][img=recommend]

3yr
Bad_Totodile
Bad_TotodileLv3

DISGUSTING________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________BUT CROCO LIKES IT..

3yr
Mel_Aniv
Mel_AnivLv4

Wow! that was awe-strucking on my part. As not a native speakers of English, it is very challenging for us to write in english. But the author has made it this far and surpassed the limitations of being a Filipino. Shout out to you all!

3yr
Spirit_Realm
Spirit_RealmLv2

I liked how your dialogues are a little funny because they keep readers entertained, but sometimes they've become too much. I can see there is potential, and like to see how this story progresses. To be honest, I got confused at your title, but after reading it seemed to fit the story. Maybe add a little bit more tweak to the world description. But still, it was a fun read. I'm cheering for you Author-sama! XD

3yr
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