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Mairo_Agbodo_8886Lv34yr
2021-02-05 19:16

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commander_pride_21Lv6

honestly, at first the story looked promising and even though the grammar mistakes were annoying, I still enjoyed it very much. Now for the story itself, I discovered how much unrealistic the MC power growth is and here I'm talking about how he amassed power so easily and no one was able to notice. I mean how none of his brothers or even his father noticed how a sudden powerful organization appeared and didn't investigate it at all. you say that they're good at managing and rulling and yet they didn't do anything to face against MC since they're the antagonists of this story so far and you made it too easy for MC to gather everything at his hands. you even made his mother a huge bank where he can get money easily at any time and any place. Second, the development of the world itself. you said that there exist people who can fly with swords and people who can become Devine like existences around here and yet you didn't even show one person who can do that or even how does the supernatural powers exist. Is it because of Qi? do people cultivate or are they born with it or something? Also, if such people exist, how didn't the kingdoms use them so that they can wage wars using these people so that they can become the most powerful kingdom. So far, we only saw Normal people fight and not like those fantasy battles using techniques and Qi Third, MC new shit personality or should I say new MC(as you killed the previous one) Honestly, he's the main reason I hated the last few chapters and how he became. Honestly, character development wise, you were doing very good with each character you introduced and even the brothers and sister of MC were good enough for me and even the change of MC from heartless murderer to a good guy would've been awesome to read and would've made us happy but you throw that away like garbage just to create a stupid twist of the return of old personality. that made me really angry. finally, the thing I wanna talk about is how you suddenly made the enemy kingdom suddenly enter the province without MC or his organization discovering about it. you talked a thousand times about how he controlled the province and yet people easily infiltrated without him noticing anything at all. you also made this event so confusing with how bad your grammar in those chapters is and the bad change of POV that made it worse. In the end, I would like to say that first, the novel started good and showed great potential and even got me easily hooked and read more chapters but then it got worse and by the time I reached chapter 46, I hated it. please try your best to improve it

mrCatAuthor
SculpLv12
MorganrdLv3
Flames_OfDeathLv2
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