Review Detail of Aeternabilis in The Second Demon
Review detail
Wayyy to much babble. The whole story is like a quarter plot and three-quarters of him talking to himself, acting like a chuni, talking complete nonsense to himself. I honestly cannot stand these types of characters. To me, they are just a waste of time. I don't even know what's going on half the time because it keeps mentioning random-ass sht all the time. Like I would rather spend my time reading a story with a good plot, an interesting mc and just an interesting story rly. Not a story where the mc talks to himself for all of it.
The Second Demon
TediousHamster
Liked by 5 people
LIKEReplies3
Well I can't really blame you cause that's quite true, but these are only the early chaps where I'm trying to set up what kind of person the Mc has. Just stick around for a while, volume 2 will have less monologue...i hope, also I'm hoping to fix the pov, the only reason why there's so many monologue is because majority of the story is heavily driven by the mc's pov
I will try it again in the future then. Maybe once you have written more and gotten more of an idea of how you want it to be with the right style in place to clean up these early chapters as they may put people off as they did me? I'm glad you can see where I am coming from thou ^^ I get trying to set up the personality of the mc however, I guess you are rushing it? It's something we get an idea of at the start and then see it grow. I feel you're trying to fit everything in to quickly? I mean for me it is mainly that he is talking to himself for three-quarters of a chapter that I can't stand. Cause I feel the story isnt going anywhere and it just purely makes me fed up with the mc. Going onto like I don't even care what he is talking about. Hope this makes sense?
TediousHamster:Well I can't really blame you cause that's quite true, but these are only the early chaps where I'm trying to set up what kind of person the Mc has. Just stick around for a while, volume 2 will have less monologue...i hope, also I'm hoping to fix the pov, the only reason why there's so many monologue is because majority of the story is heavily driven by the mc's pov
Yeah...I'm rushing too much and adding to much monologue from the mc, also the mc is indeed putting some people off from reading it, I can see some of them talking about it in the comments. But I'm actually building up this annoying persona, a so called talkative Mc that monologue a lot...I just hope I can pull it off. Yeah, thanks for the help man, appreciate it, I hope you'll re-review it again after I added more chapters and fixed the problem you've adressed
Aeternabilis:I will try it again in the future then. Maybe once you have written more and gotten more of an idea of how you want it to be with the right style in place to clean up these early chapters as they may put people off as they did me? I'm glad you can see where I am coming from thou ^^ I get trying to set up the personality of the mc however, I guess you are rushing it? It's something we get an idea of at the start and then see it grow. I feel you're trying to fit everything in to quickly? I mean for me it is mainly that he is talking to himself for three-quarters of a chapter that I can't stand. Cause I feel the story isnt going anywhere and it just purely makes me fed up with the mc. Going onto like I don't even care what he is talking about. Hope this makes sense?