It gets to a point it doesn’t make sense. There is this thing called heart of the realm and if it gets absorbed the realm is destroyed. Mc won’t take it away and protect it cause he is afraid of his peaceful life being ruined…. But then if it is absorbed his peaceful life will be over cause the realm he is in is destroyed. He always says he has no strength but then as soon as his disciples need help he instantly kills the enemy. Its like he suddenly becomes self aware then instantly forgets it after. Picking and choosing

Honestly thou, what is the point of the mc as this point? Just make the girl the mc. Mc is pathetic compared to her

Forgot about the heart thing with that random dude, what missing memories 😂

Def, with Aomine he hasn’t changed at all just got more stamina. Even thou he started training again where as in the show he hadn’t trained a lot since what the second year of middleschool? Where as Kagami and the rest train for a bit and are suddenly beasts. Would have been cool for aomine to unlock somthing new with him having trained again. Tbf didn’t think they where gonna win anyways cause mc hasn’t faced serin yet

You do realize that any of the gom solo teams by themself. Doesn’t matter how senior the team mate are. The whole point of the anime was that they got so bored playing basketball cause they destroyed teams with ease. They lost the joy of playing the game and wanted to see who was the best out of all of them. The mc being able to beat one of them means he can solo teams. Him entering the zone enabled him to beat the whole of the gom. Which is poor from the author tbh cause it made no sense I think your forgetting he has mid on his team as well. This makes it so that they should easily win.. but the author suddenly decided nah let’s make him lose to some nobody’s ignoring the accomplishments shown throughout the stroy so far. It’s jarring af and is annoying to read

So the story seemed to have a lot of promise and I’m ngl only got to chapter 7 so take this with a pinch of salt. What has turned me off and made me stop reading this book is the following. The mc is genius not seen since aincent times. He is spending ages on his cultivation elevating it all to the max at each level. By creating scriptures etc and giving these seeds out that upgrades spirit roots. Like cool stuff, plus love that he has wood root. Seems like a good direction. But… this random arse girl from the central continent is leaching off of the mc via enlightenment taking his ideas and strength and spreading it around making her already powerful sect even stronger. No ryme no reason. Essentialy the mc has lost what makes him unique and all his secrets and power is being used for some random characters benifit and of course this character is a world destroying beauty…. Complete turn off for me. Gl to the author but not for me

Why is he keep trying to use the card and not save up for a better quality one ?

Doesn’t matter much now haha but I would say personaly. Age wise you made it very hard on yourself As you made him out to be aincent like first soul in existence vibe it’s hard to find a suitable pairing. The closest one I saw that felt alright was that matriarch he knew. He is so respected it’s trying to find someone with that same reputation sort of. Hope this makes sense haha Currently I would say change love interest or don’t have one if you want to salvage it. Romance is very hard to write and it came make or break a great story

Smash this year out and I hope you crush your exams. This story was very promising and a good first start. You have listened to advise and recognize improvements to your writing you can learn from. At the end of the day this is all that matters and you will write bigger and better stories in the future because of this mindset.

I’m ngl but feel when mc and yachiru get together is when ima drop this story. The paring doesn’t make much sense to me. If she wasn’t his disciple and his daughters sister then I could see it. Or if she was older When I read it I’m picturing them as kids around the mc and then trying to make yachiru be with the mc is kinda like a pedo In my mind ahaha But it’s like how will the two sisters call her in the future? Mother? How she was bought into the story the pairing just doesn’t match

THIS MAKES NO SENSE!! I’m have drop for a bit and see where it goes with the titles to see if I to continue or not. Everything that has happend so far just purely impossible to happen. Ignore the bs of the last few chapters and take this one as an example. Master of order and chaos came in to stop Gia from destroying reality? To calm her down? When the one who is at fault is Mephisto? For taking a soul that doesn’t belong to him? Don’t even mention he was able to hide it from them as he doesn’t have that power

I don’t get what the auhtor is doing. The story was good so far but these past two chapters make no sense. In understand that you want to make it world ending but what he is doing rn is impossible. Like the aincent one might leave it cause she has seen how it’s resoveld but the Asgard stuff just doesn’t make sense

Footballs a team sport with all positions being needed to succeed

Essentially, it’ fun to watch but in real life this show would make zero sense.

So the story of you like football is awful. It’s not football. It’s more like a fighting novel with football added as an afterthought. I mean you can atk other players and kill them… I went into this with the mindset from the description that it would be something like inazuma eleven. Where they have special shots, dribbles etc I though this would be so cool, however I was taken aback by how it’s essentialy who can kill the other team with a football. I think this is why I’m so turned off by the story, my exepectations are fcked and yeah. Some may like it but if you have the same thoughts as me going into this then you won’t like it. Good luck to the author but yeah peace out ✌🏼

Would have been cool if he was a cam control the whole midfield and been the architect of the team

Is annoying how he keeps saying about doing the aura knight training but every time it falls though

Would have been cool to see him going agaisnt the ppl in blue lock

I mean doesn’t big mom have the soul soul fruit. Ghosts are essentialy souls… so is haki. This story could have been kinda intresting but making the ghosts all powerful makes no sense

Because if you think about it aswell his clan with there body are beasts with Yang chakra, why they live so long. Now with this template the spiritual pressure is essentially yin chakra. So mixing the two together makes the mc 2x as powerful