Review Detail of Glenstonx in Into the Dragon's Den

HI author!!! upon reading your book, it interests me and so I read more, (but for now, to make this review I only read the first chapter) so in my conclusion, I expect much and profound writing style from you author, make it consistent until the end of your novel/story. I gave a vote since your last words/ sentence is enough to gave a hook to a reader (but it was not noticeable since you did not separate it from the supporting details of the sorry) Only issue tho, the pace of your writing is slow, please keep on updating. Regularly if possible. Also, please split your long paragraphs. It steals the momentum of your story. It wouldn't hurt to press that enter button, would it?