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Review Detail of Clone_v2 in Parasyte System

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Clone_v2
Clone_v2Lv103yrClone_v2

Parasyte System is an enjoyable albeit flawed power fantasy. Let me briefly unpack that. I have now read every chapter currently available on Webnovel, and I have to say, this is a mixed bag. I'll start with the good. The story is interesting. The backstory of the proliferation, The three classes and their different attributes is intriguing. The characters are charming. There is a lot to enjoy about this Webnovel. If the story ended here, I'd have no problem strongly recommending this story to anyone who crosses my path. Unfortunately, the story doesn't end here. There is a myriad of problems with this Webnovel. I'll now unpack the most egregious. Giving some credit where its due, for a non-native to the English language, the author is very promising. I've seen webnovels on this platform written by native English speakers done worse. That isn't to say this is done well. The biggest gaffes of this work isn't even related to the English language, but rather writing conventions. I'll start with the most unforgivable. The author begins the story writing in the first-person perspective. A few chapters down the line, the author moves into the third-person perspective. I understand the reason. Worldbuilding is difficult in the first-person. It isn't impossible, but it is difficult. The author made the choice to break free from the perspective he chose in order to easier tell a bigger story. The issue is, he never went back to change the first few chapters into the third-person. Chapters after the impromptu change, I was still unsure as to what was happening, who was narrating, who exactly we were meant to be following. I did eventually key onto the change in POV, however, were I not internally compelled to carry on, I would have dropped this webnovel immediately. It's not an easy fix, but it is a necessary one. The first few chapters really need to be changed to reflect the authors chosen POV. The next big issue, not fatal like the one above, but still bad, is the author's maddening choice to constantly repeat information that has just been provided, A character will say something, conveying information to the reader, the author will then repeat the information provided in dialogue in the narration. Why do this? It baffles me. It really detracts from the work, Breaking away from this convention is a small change that would radically improve this work. Another issue is that there is a lot of telling and little to no showing. Emotions are not conveyed through the use of creative writing, the reader is just told what the characters are feeling. This isn't as much of a problem as the two issues stated above, however, fixing it would really improve this webnovel. I'm certain that there are more issues with this webnovel, but that isn't to say that it's not an enjoyable read. Parasyte System is a diamond in a lot of rough. It would blind in its brilliance, but only if the author is willing to really polish.

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Parasyte System

KJun

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Replies2

KJun
KJunAuthorKJun

Thanks for your really helpful review, I'll do my best to follow your advices~!

ThePumpkinGod
ThePumpkinGodLv11ThePumpkinGod

I respect the amount of effort you have put into this. It is longer than when I right esays.