An amateur "writer" opening the tap on his imagination.
So now the chapter titles are starting to make sense.
A forest child?
The grammar here lends itself to confusion.
"permit us" not "permitted us"
Ohh... This is very helpful. There are some things I can't do much about, but others, such as your dialogue suggestions, that is absolute gold. I can't thank you enough, with your suggestions I think I can much better realise my vision for this series. As for the update rate, I'm going to continue with the slow updates until around March, at which point, I'll have enough chapters stockpiled to release daily. I can't thank you enough for your review. :D
This kinda reminded me of The Sun Rising by John Donne. "Busy old fool, unruly sun, Why dost thou thus, Through windows, and through curtains call on us?" Not strictly relevant, but it was nice. It enhanced my experience with this paragraph.
Smart. Though some might argue that the best defence is an overwhelming offence. While she's in the care of the Vanguard, it might have been better to develop her offensive capabilities and trust that her companions can cover for her weaknesses.
Sneaky. I approve.
Repetition of the word "wind" is a bit excessive here.
"knew" not "know"
How did the MC know it was cherry flavoured?
The constant tense shifting is somewhat maddening.
"On the shoulder" Not "In the shoulder"
coughs are effects, not dialogue. It shouldn't be within speech marks.
This might just be nitpickery, but I think effects would be better in asterisks. Single or double inverted commas are used for speech generally, the other tends to be used for quotations within speech as well as direct thought, so using it for sound effects is somewhat confusing.
She's one person, how would she know that nobody knew what made that cracking sound? It's outside of her POV.
"With as much force as I could muster" or "As hard as I could" Would work better than "As strong as I could"