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therealSkywolf202
therealSkywolf202Lv24yr
2020-10-10 20:44

I loved the first chapter. The suspense builds up really nicely. There is a very creepy tone and mood and I love that. A few grammatical errors here and there but there's always a place for improvement. Keep it up, author!

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Glenstonx
GlenstonxAuthor

Thanks!!

Other Reviews
kakigori
kakigoriLv2

Hi there! Here's your review. Just a heads-up though - I'm more accustomed to doing really really long critiques, so this one might be a bit janky. Now, I'm not exactly qualified to critique horror/thriller because it really isn't my cup of tea, but I'll try my best to critique what I am familiar with: Namely, your characters. I'll be honest here - I quite like Rose. Her interactions with other characters and her little internal thoughts are oddly endearing and realistic. She does have some slip-ups, but they're not too bad to the extent that my suspension of disbelief is broken. Overall, she is quite a fascinating main character and she's grown on me a lot over the few chapters I've read thus far. The vibe you have going for your setting is i m m a c u l a t e. The way they're written kinda gives me the whole 'flickering lights in an empty hallway' sorta vibe, and it absolutely suits this story. It's also not like the few other horror stories I've read thus far. You don't really overdo it on the gore and I'm grateful that you haven't used it for the cheap shock factor, which is nice. To summarise - Rose is an excellent character, and the setting descriptions hit all the right spots. The lady in the elevator too. Chapter Two in particularly was actually pretty scary. You really do get a feel of what young Mr Anderson was going through. Everything just radiates feelings of kenopsia - it feels hollow and empty, and depending on what you were going for that turned out really really well. Definitely suits the thriller vibe. soooo yeah here's my review. hope i helped out!

SolAce
SolAceLv3
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Michyo45 · Horror
Not enough ratings
33 Chs