webnovel
JimmyBlah
JimmyBlahLv143yr
2021-02-09 22:36

Good idea, poor execution. Not trying to be rude but you also need to work on grammar... having our mc being called an ‘adventure’ instead of ‘adventurer’ multiple times in a row was the straw that broke the camel’s back here 😅.

In the World of Sword and Magic as Space Marine

ElJonson
4.4
157 Chs

Liked by 20 people

LIKE
Replies3
The_Swedish_Knight
The_Swedish_KnightLv13

Yea but he also said it in the authors thought. That he was new and not to be to harsh on him for the grammar.

2yr
Godymandias
GodymandiasLv4

it's not an excuse. if you can't even write proper English then don't write at all.

The_Swedish_Knight:Yea but he also said it in the authors thought. That he was new and not to be to harsh on him for the grammar.
1yr
Daoist_Dan
Daoist_DanLv10

Who's going to tell him?

Godymandias:it's not an excuse. if you can't even write proper English then don't write at all.
1yr
1
Other Reviews
Uncle_Sheogorath
Uncle_SheogorathLv4

Don't like it! Mc may have the body of a space marine however he behaves like a big wuss. This bothers me. In 40k terms, you are a heretic. You completely ruin the image of badass space marines. Why didn't he kill those arrogant knights who wanted to confiscate his armour?!! Mc's seems to be too passive. What's next getting an elf harem and helping some girls?

4yr

DaoistJkBOoQ
DaoistJkBOoQLv1

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii sa imneratora

4yr
Saltberg
SaltbergLv11

Nice Idea, bad execution ... like 95% of novels on this site ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

4yr
mikedanger
mikedangerLv5

Amazing I have to say you have put together a very good book can't wait for the next chapters. Keep up the good work it's not easy But You Have To Do It For The Emperor

4yr
Tyruss_1175
Tyruss_1175Lv1

I am sorry but as a gamer and warhammer fan this is absolutely horrible to read. The MC is experienced gamer and warhammer fan. He is in the body of friking SPACE MARINE ... absolute killing machine and he uses limited resources on goblins. They cant hurt him in any way possible but he just decide to use grenade to kill few of them ... not a big group or anything ... just few of them because reasons... in short this should not be read by anyone who is fan of warhammer at all with absolutely basic knowledge of lore and/or basic common sense.

1yr
Mukson_Pautinka
Mukson_PautinkaLv11

About 20 chapters in and the novel reads like a poorly made history book. It is just x did this, then y did that (but he didn't know that it was x all along). Rather than painting the scene of an Astartes trying to get a room at an inn and then beating everyone at drinking, the author just goes 'He couldn't get a room because he was too big, also he totally beat them all at drinking because he can't get drunk'. We can't even get attached to the character since none of it feels like it's from his perspective. Speaking of character, as others have stated: the mc is dull as a board and simultaneously the epitome of what a space marine isn't. An air headed wuss. He treats the whole thing as a game (or even if he doesn't the reader wouldn't realize because at no point do we see any mental monologue or thought process) The whole thing feels like playing oblivion, you get told to kill something. You kill it (whilst using weapons none of the NPCs could ever dream of seeing). The view pans back to the NPC's prewritten dialogue telling you: good job, here's 10 gold coins. And then walks off like he didn't just see an Astartes chain-swording 3 hobgoblins in one motion. If you just want some guy messing around in the body of an Astartes then you may enjoy this but for anything more, look elsewhere Sorry for the rant, I just saw all the xp farm comments and wanted to give a more accurate image of this novel. Saying everything is great when it isn't is worse for improving your writing then being overly negative so I hope the author can improve on what I mentioned since I love the concept and would like to see it done well.

2yr
Ashinydecapod
AshinydecapodLv13

The intro chapters are really good. There isn't much to talk about at this point but the way the story flows are good. The characters interaction with the MC doesn't seem mechanical or npc like. Plus its Space Marine FTW. Nicely done author, keep it up. Noice.

4yr
Whitestair
WhitestairLv4

What is your Duty? To serve Emperor's will. What is Emperor's will? That we fight and die. What is Death? It is our Duty. What is your Duty?... And the authors Duty is to spread the Emperor's name. No seriously, author, the lack of words of faith in the Emperor is concerning that some might say it's heresy.

3yr
A_pidgeon
A_pidgeonLv14

The emperor would be pleased ! Go away, i'm trying to reach the minimum characters in a review Also exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!exp!

3yr
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