webnovel
Just_ForFun
Just_ForFunLv54yr
2020-09-17 13:59

ok officially this fan fiction is ****ed first narssisa you absolutely destroyed her image you did't have portray her as a free for all because for the plot she could have been abused and would have been grateful if you saved her , even thought death eaters rape ,torture and kill they do it to their enimes and muggles she is a pure blood and lucies has a reputation so he would not others to use his wife except the dark lord . so that chapter was absolute not necessary you could have just said she was abused and tortured . next dumbledoor you could just ho to another country and find some some one attempt to remove his binding and you couuld **** him over or totally go to another . we understand that you want him to face some difficulties but you are just making him stupid , do you seriously think no one would want to kill sriues that was not even logical .

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Other Reviews
amaturewriter
amaturewriterLv4

Bro...ur bash of the wizarding society despite [ ur explanations- which is good, cause no one has really done this in a bash. Good job] BUT its too much...u;ve made them out to be a bunch of retards. ----------- -Mole skin pouches having no detection charms when being stolen. ****, wouldnt the pouches be useless? pick pocketing would be the new thing. they had charms that made impossible for anyone other than owner to open it, obviously they;d have detection charms or something -him stealing said pouches in a crowded area and no one noticing? not even fking voldy? come on man,,,,fine, fine, voldy was weak, extremely so, I'll accept, but he was the dark lord, the most powerful too....he should've noticed something. And what about the others? -The the magic cupboards being useless and only the ordered ones being worth it? [dude, if this was the case....wouldnt they be out of business? no normie could buy it since its expensive, and they wouldnt buy as its practically useless] -The old lady being distracted by feeding cats, and forgetting to tell dumbles about the dursleys being arrested? really? That was retarded, [And u want say that she didnt notice harrys abuse...dude the dursleys werent retard....they didnt physically abuse to the point of broken bones, if they did the schools would've caught em, and seeing how much they liked their image, they wouldnt have done it. Also harry was fed, he wasnt like a sick kid, in the bk was described as a scrawny kid. Plus no where in the bk is physical abuse [broken bones] mentioned..emotional yes....BUT , yes petunia did hit harry with a frying pan, their physical abuse was hitting, not broken bones. Plus the BLOOD CHARM, protects person against what the caster [ie: lily] wants...which is voldy....it dosnt heal **** or anything like...it just make the person undetectable voldy and also protects harry from voldy, like in the first movie...actually researched this ] -Also, say u made this blood charm OC.....if dumbles had this, wouldnt he also have something to detect if harry left? he would've searched right? or the old lady would;ve told later -The cloths? oh come on man....they werent that retarded [muggle air repellent?] ---------------------- I will still read on considering this is a better bash fic that most if not all I;ve read, but still to much..u've made em retards

Z3RG102077
Z3RG102077Lv6

Sorry but you blew it from chapter 21, this is not good for me, it was fun while it lasted goodbye :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

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