There is some good characterization on the characters, I think the plot will go to somewhere interesting. But in the first part there is a hefty amount of info dumping. It might be challenging for the light readers to read though. I think grammar needs some work but else good story.
Dark_Scholars
Liked by 3 people
LIKEif it is necessary, perhaps you could minimize the phrase? I find that the info dump of yours ruin the story by -1 point, but your story is really interesting, which covers that -1 point. P.S I'm sorry if my words are too blunt
Dark_Scholars:Thank you very much. The info dump was necessary I believe, to help introduce a bit of the world to the readers.
No, it wasn't blunt at all. Frank but then again most authors appreciate frankness. I have shortened the paragraphs and edited the book. Thanks for the advice and the praise.
Anotoki:if it is necessary, perhaps you could minimize the phrase? I find that the info dump of yours ruin the story by -1 point, but your story is really interesting, which covers that -1 point. P.S I'm sorry if my words are too blunt