webnovel
acedragon4
acedragon4Lv53yr
2020-12-06 19:44

I like your story though at first i didn't like it based on reviews. it is decent story. though i feel sometimes i feel you are trying to make things too complicated at times. another problem in my opinion is your slow pace and due to which it can't be enjoyed in this webnovel chapter format. Yours is i think something to be read in bulk like after 5 or 10 chapter. Overall i like it. I think it is right balance somewhere between extremes of all wish fullfilment stuff where everyone worships mc and the other extreme where anything and everything goes wrong for mc. Yours characters also feel like people though mostly shitty though that is mostly real life things i guess. Everyone isn't a shounen character. though sometimes it goes too grimdark, i guess. Like everyone has something dark about them them. Also you should gauge your story every now and then between realistic stuff and entertainment for which most people come to read a novel. Too much wish fulment type novel get stale pretty soon but too realistic also have problem of not always being entertaining. Though best of luck. I will follow your writing.

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SailusGebel
SailusGebelAuthor

Thanks for your kind words. I do want to write more chapters a week, but I don't have enough time as I have my work. Also, this week I skipped posting completely due to my grandfather dying. I can't even get help from readers as I don't have any prewritten chapters in stock. So I release as much as I can.

acedragon4
acedragon4Lv5

Nah man you don't have to worry. I won't ask anyone to write novel in your conditions. You are a good writer and improving. And you are willing to learn which is tons better than many other. This type of novel is one that I don't generally read but I have binged your novel in 2 days. Just relax and at first write when you have free time.

SailusGebel:Thanks for your kind words. I do want to write more chapters a week, but I don't have enough time as I have my work. Also, this week I skipped posting completely due to my grandfather dying. I can't even get help from readers as I don't have any prewritten chapters in stock. So I release as much as I can.
Other Reviews
Snortsneer
SnortsneerLv13
SpectralApparition
SpectralApparitionLv5

If you guys are looking for the netori, harem and r18 stuff might have to wait till this reach 100 chaps. mc character growth is just too strange for someone that was essentially an otaku. Too much self identity crisis and mc is still stuck in thinking in the norm when he is pretty much in a ntr game. The moral thing is just getting annoying at this point, contradicting thoughts that just annoys me or most readers. This is slow paced but don't central this around just the mc since it got boring reading it. Like adding about world building and how that world works from his research in his PC would probably help the mc make solid decisions. Cause from all the chapters so far, he gets pissed most of the time like as if a stick got stuck in his ass when given some info from his "friends". The big events so far that should have boost his character growth a lot, always have a reason to revert him back to normalcy thinking. It was already annoying at the beginning but now it's 45 chapters and little changed other than his physical attributes. Especially the revenge part where he thought this plan and how he was really gonna ruin this girl and even brags about how he will do it right from those shitty "revenge" stories he read in his previous world. Instead we get something that missed that claim..... it would be better if the author never added those sentences/reference cause it just made the mc even more unbearable. it may make sense realistic wise but God dam is it an annoying/bad story telling. Nothing is really note worthy that would hook the reader because of the "slow pace" and the 2 chapters or so of r18 text are probably what 90% of the reader cared about. The slow pace is just hard to pull off and may need to really amp his character. Cause at this point, you can just skip/skim chapters and probably won't miss anything important.

AmIEvil
AmIEvilLv2

Writing quality 4 Story development 3 Character design 2 Updating stability- I guess it depends but I give a 3 stars. World backround 4. I'm not really an expert in terms of reviewing works but I'm still going to give my opinion?I guess. Writing Quality is decent and readable, although there's some grammatical errors It was still fine. I like the writing style based 1st person perspective so I give 4 stars. The story development for me is pretty off that's why I just gave 3 stars in this aspect. The story is very slow paced and It makes the reader feel bored. Me personally like slow pace to catch up the details and some stuffs. But slowing the progress too match will leave the bad taste to those people reading it. I highly suggest to learn how to control the pacing, Fast , Slow and etc to assure the reader is still in the story. Character development is really not good for my opinion. At first I thought he was just a chill guy wanting peace and sort of playing video games with his friend. But after some events it was highly showed the he is the most loser , beta mc that I've ever read in my whole life. His personality is really sucks like in a bad way that it affects the readers mind. His decision is hilarious to the point I want to beat him up. I think It's okay to make him like a average person....but too much and making him like a sore loser just holding the potential of the story. At first he was bullied so he will decide to change into a new different person but still after all the things happened he just become more and more trash. He was aware the fact his friend is having *** behind his back making fool of him. I like the idea that the mc didn't care but what did he do?He played with them like a fool and it really look like stupid in my opinion. I don't want to offend the author of this story but It's been a while since I became frustated at the stupidity of a person.He can just avoid talking with that so called friends of him especially Jet, this kid is not a friend at all. He was just acting and making fun of the mc behind the back and thinking how superior he is by doing malicious things with the girls that close to him. Ps: I'm not starting argument I'm just stating what I feel about the story so far so please go easy on me and don't take it as an personal insult. Everyone has the right to do what they want to do , right what they want and I really respect the efforts of the authors sharing their thoughts and imagination

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