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Review Detail of Breuno in A New World, an immersive game experience

Review detail

Breuno
BreunoAuthor2yrBreuno

Hello everyone: I thought it might be around time for me to do a new review of my story as it has developed far more and become so much more than I ever originally thought/imagined. (Especially being constantly in the top 100-150 was not something I ever imagined) Let's start with a, not sure what to call it. You will realize that my first few chapters have quite a few cliches or tropes. I will admit I relied on them to get started, slowly I moved away and now I harshly look at cliches and will really debate if I wish to add any or not.  If I do decide to do so, I will always attempt to do it in a way that will fit naturally in the world and story.  On that topic, this story is not a quick one diving into a plot and having the main character have a strong goal right from the start. Eldrian is just a person who was interested in this new type of game, and naturally he is our MC because he has some natural unknown talents. (You wouldn't want to follow an average joe, or would you?) He is not OP, he is not weak. Rather, he is. He grows with time and he learns with time. He forgets often and he does stupid and brilliant things almost at the same time. He is human, and I do my best to reflect that he is. I do my best to reflect this with all my characters, even the non-humans. Next, the story idea. It started as a more realistic game world, and become an 'alternate' world instead. It is most certainly still a game story and the world is indeed virtual and a game, but I do not focus on game elements. They are there, there are stats, there are weapons, spells, and item descriptions.  In the heat of combat, they are not brought onto the page. However, I do not neglect them. I always run my spreadsheets and do calculations to determine what effects what spell/attack will have. The stats are important, but I feel pushing them into a fight is distracting. So I almost never do, barring a few unique enemies who do not possess normal vitals.  This brings me to my magic system, I get that many feel it is similar to Mages are too OP. However, I started my story before reading that one, and I was at around chapter 30 when MTOP(?) reached chapter 100; when I started reading it.  I won't mention it more than this, but I want to make it clear that while it might feel(read) the same, mine is nowhere close. You should realize this after (not sure) chapter 50 maybe, chapter 100 for sure. Magic is hard, and it stays that way constantly. It is a constant pursuit of new and difficult knowledge and skills. Nothing comes easy, everything takes time and effort.  On that note, much of my writing dives into these topics in detail. I do not glance at details, but I also do my best to never repeat details. One spell might take one, two, maybe even three or more chapters to learn, but the next spell won't take more than a paragraph unless it is very different.  With this said, I also want to mention that the IRL world is constantly intertwined with the story. It is not forgotten, and it is part of the lore and background. After all, ANW was created with a very specific aim, and that aim is one a company in the real world has.  Next, a few things I see are often asked/questioned.  Romance: Some, but not really. I have introduced a romance early on, but I never really developed it as I am a stranger to the topic of romance.  (NTR, Harem): No on both Rewriting earlier chapters: I simply do not have the time nor will that really work, I have however gone through and fixed the obvious spelling and grammar mistakes.  Pacing: It is slow, I won't lie. As I said earlier, I go into details and things are constantly happening. There is almost no time skips. By chapter 500 only 6 months have passed, Eldrian is around level 30 (won't give precise level) and Tier 4.  However, levels do work differently in this game compared to normal worlds. The death penalty you will also find is really harsh, and my story is not one where the MC somehow never dies. (never made much sense to me, especially since dying in a game is normal for everyone) ------- Side note: I dive deeply into topics such as the emotional impact of events, philosophy, and realism. My aim with my magic system is and has always been to bridge reality and fantasy in a 'fantastical' way.  You will come to find with time the approach I took for this, I hope you come to love it as I do. If not, I understand.  ------- I think this is a long enough overview (almost a chapter's length), hopefully, it can help people decide if they want to give it a try or not. 

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A New World, an immersive game experience

Breuno

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Replies21

Mohmed_Gaber
Mohmed_GaberLv5Mohmed_Gaber

I have read the story until ch 540 and i like it very much BuT i realy dont like what happening now in ch 541 having him Being locked by mircale and Escaping by killing mircale soilders and his fears about what happend to his family

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

I totally understand, why I was hesitant with going in this direction after writing the chapter. But it felt like the most natural turning point. Hopefully, you continue to enjoy as it develops.

Mohmed_Gaber:I have read the story until ch 540 and i like it very much BuT i realy dont like what happening now in ch 541 having him Being locked by mircale and Escaping by killing mircale soilders and his fears about what happend to his family
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TheBlueCombat
TheBlueCombatLv12TheBlueCombat

Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?

Breuno:I totally understand, why I was hesitant with going in this direction after writing the chapter. But it felt like the most natural turning point. Hopefully, you continue to enjoy as it develops.
Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

I honestly don't think so, something really big happened though. --- Let me explain, when I write I do not know what is going to happen until I write it. Even when I try to plan, I am sometimes totally caught off guard by how a chapter develops. --- The story has likely crossed its halfway point, but I doubt it will finish in the next 100 or 200 chapters. But I cannot tell you when it will end either. But as I said, doubt it is in the next 100 or 200 chapters, feel more like in the next 500. But I don't know, since I haven't written it yet. --- Not sure what you wanted to hear, but that is what I can say.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

After writing another couple of chapters, I have to say: There is still a ton that is left to be done and explored.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
Araa_Nain
Araa_NainLv1Araa_Nain

what is the MC class in the game ?

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

Hi, not sure how to answer without spoiling (story doesn't really follow the traditional path). I'll just say he is a split of magic and melee focused.

Araa_Nain:what is the MC class in the game ?
Araa_Nain
Araa_NainLv1Araa_Nain

is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?

Araa_Nain
Araa_NainLv1Araa_Nain

oh another thing that bothering me, who is the main villain in the game ? the player or npc/ some kinda ' god ' ?

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

Oops, replied to the wrong question with the first answer. I'll be honest, I have no idea how to answer this. Especially without directly spoiling things. Let me try. He is smart, and he is also dumb. (He has his moments, and then he has those moments...) Some people love it, some people hate it. But he is consistent in not being consistent. If that helps

Araa_Nain:is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?
Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

As for if he is relying on a group, at the current point, he is indeed relying on others quite a bit. (Chapter 580 ish) Before, he has both relied and not relied on others. Depending on the situation and what was possible. As for solo'ing the game, I don't want to spoil things. All I can say is it isn't the standard game approach. (There is no soloing ANW, that isn't what and why ANW exists)

Araa_Nain:is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?
Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

That again is hard to answer. Due to the nature of the story, it isn't that simple. For the premise and up to around chapter 500, the invading evil forces are the main villains (the cause of the invasion). But it isn't quite as black and white, and after chapter 500 things change massively. (You'll see that there are a bunch of chapters with change in title, and 'new reality' mini-arc)

Araa_Nain:oh another thing that bothering me, who is the main villain in the game ? the player or npc/ some kinda ' god ' ?
Araa_Nain
Araa_NainLv1Araa_Nain

thank you for your honest answer. i will read all the free chapters, tq

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

Hope you enjoy, :)

Araa_Nain:thank you for your honest answer. i will read all the free chapters, tq
Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

After a few more chapters, I just want to say that I feel there is still a bunch to come.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
jaybay23911
jaybay23911Lv1jaybay23911

Your doing a great job and I like the direction you've taken it. Hopefully you can keep balance of the narration from the simulation / reality, and not allow Eldrian to get to OP or things to get to whacky, without buildup. Really enjoying the story so far.

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

Thanks, I certainly do try my best to make all power-ups slow and steady.

jaybay23911:Your doing a great job and I like the direction you've taken it. Hopefully you can keep balance of the narration from the simulation / reality, and not allow Eldrian to get to OP or things to get to whacky, without buildup. Really enjoying the story so far.
Val_Jasper_Ojerio
Val_Jasper_OjerioLv4Val_Jasper_Ojerio

is this a novel or something like describing things etc...???

Breuno
BreunoAuthorBreuno

Um this is a novel, but all novels describe things. That is how writing works, so not sure what your asking.

Val_Jasper_Ojerio:is this a novel or something like describing things etc...???
Bitrus_Barnsbas
Bitrus_BarnsbasLv2Bitrus_Barnsbas

I've read up to chapter 670 and I was so hooked up to it it took a while to be away from it and I have to say the novel is amazing from the plot to the setting and the fact that the MC can also die and the moments and how everyone grows up due to the war, I love how you just did that and I like that you also reference all the stats when the MC is levelling up or gaining new gear. The story just fits together and I hope you don't stop writing