webnovel
BreunoAuthor3yr
2021-12-26 19:12

Hello everyone: I thought it might be around time for me to do a new review of my story as it has developed far more and become so much more than I ever originally thought/imagined. (Especially being constantly in the top 100-150 was not something I ever imagined) Let's start with a, not sure what to call it. You will realize that my first few chapters have quite a few cliches or tropes. I will admit I relied on them to get started, slowly I moved away and now I harshly look at cliches and will really debate if I wish to add any or not.  If I do decide to do so, I will always attempt to do it in a way that will fit naturally in the world and story.  On that topic, this story is not a quick one diving into a plot and having the main character have a strong goal right from the start. Eldrian is just a person who was interested in this new type of game, and naturally he is our MC because he has some natural unknown talents. (You wouldn't want to follow an average joe, or would you?) He is not OP, he is not weak. Rather, he is. He grows with time and he learns with time. He forgets often and he does stupid and brilliant things almost at the same time. He is human, and I do my best to reflect that he is. I do my best to reflect this with all my characters, even the non-humans. Next, the story idea. It started as a more realistic game world, and become an 'alternate' world instead. It is most certainly still a game story and the world is indeed virtual and a game, but I do not focus on game elements. They are there, there are stats, there are weapons, spells, and item descriptions.  In the heat of combat, they are not brought onto the page. However, I do not neglect them. I always run my spreadsheets and do calculations to determine what effects what spell/attack will have. The stats are important, but I feel pushing them into a fight is distracting. So I almost never do, barring a few unique enemies who do not possess normal vitals.  This brings me to my magic system, I get that many feel it is similar to Mages are too OP. However, I started my story before reading that one, and I was at around chapter 30 when MTOP(?) reached chapter 100; when I started reading it.  I won't mention it more than this, but I want to make it clear that while it might feel(read) the same, mine is nowhere close. You should realize this after (not sure) chapter 50 maybe, chapter 100 for sure. Magic is hard, and it stays that way constantly. It is a constant pursuit of new and difficult knowledge and skills. Nothing comes easy, everything takes time and effort.  On that note, much of my writing dives into these topics in detail. I do not glance at details, but I also do my best to never repeat details. One spell might take one, two, maybe even three or more chapters to learn, but the next spell won't take more than a paragraph unless it is very different.  With this said, I also want to mention that the IRL world is constantly intertwined with the story. It is not forgotten, and it is part of the lore and background. After all, ANW was created with a very specific aim, and that aim is one a company in the real world has.  Next, a few things I see are often asked/questioned.  Romance: Some, but not really. I have introduced a romance early on, but I never really developed it as I am a stranger to the topic of romance.  (NTR, Harem): No on both Rewriting earlier chapters: I simply do not have the time nor will that really work, I have however gone through and fixed the obvious spelling and grammar mistakes.  Pacing: It is slow, I won't lie. As I said earlier, I go into details and things are constantly happening. There is almost no time skips. By chapter 500 only 6 months have passed, Eldrian is around level 30 (won't give precise level) and Tier 4.  However, levels do work differently in this game compared to normal worlds. The death penalty you will also find is really harsh, and my story is not one where the MC somehow never dies. (never made much sense to me, especially since dying in a game is normal for everyone) ------- Side note: I dive deeply into topics such as the emotional impact of events, philosophy, and realism. My aim with my magic system is and has always been to bridge reality and fantasy in a 'fantastical' way.  You will come to find with time the approach I took for this, I hope you come to love it as I do. If not, I understand.  ------- I think this is a long enough overview (almost a chapter's length), hopefully, it can help people decide if they want to give it a try or not. 

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Replies21
Mohmed_GaberLv5

I have read the story until ch 540 and i like it very much BuT i realy dont like what happening now in ch 541 having him Being locked by mircale and Escaping by killing mircale soilders and his fears about what happend to his family

BreunoAuthor

I totally understand, why I was hesitant with going in this direction after writing the chapter. But it felt like the most natural turning point. Hopefully, you continue to enjoy as it develops.

Mohmed_Gaber:I have read the story until ch 540 and i like it very much BuT i realy dont like what happening now in ch 541 having him Being locked by mircale and Escaping by killing mircale soilders and his fears about what happend to his family
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TheBlueCombatLv13

Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?

Breuno:I totally understand, why I was hesitant with going in this direction after writing the chapter. But it felt like the most natural turning point. Hopefully, you continue to enjoy as it develops.
BreunoAuthor

I honestly don't think so, something really big happened though. --- Let me explain, when I write I do not know what is going to happen until I write it. Even when I try to plan, I am sometimes totally caught off guard by how a chapter develops. --- The story has likely crossed its halfway point, but I doubt it will finish in the next 100 or 200 chapters. But I cannot tell you when it will end either. But as I said, doubt it is in the next 100 or 200 chapters, feel more like in the next 500. But I don't know, since I haven't written it yet. --- Not sure what you wanted to hear, but that is what I can say.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
BreunoAuthor

After writing another couple of chapters, I have to say: There is still a ton that is left to be done and explored.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
Araa_NainLv1

what is the MC class in the game ?

BreunoAuthor

Hi, not sure how to answer without spoiling (story doesn't really follow the traditional path). I'll just say he is a split of magic and melee focused.

Araa_Nain:what is the MC class in the game ?
Araa_NainLv1

is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?

Araa_NainLv1

oh another thing that bothering me, who is the main villain in the game ? the player or npc/ some kinda ' god ' ?

BreunoAuthor

Oops, replied to the wrong question with the first answer. I'll be honest, I have no idea how to answer this. Especially without directly spoiling things. Let me try. He is smart, and he is also dumb. (He has his moments, and then he has those moments...) Some people love it, some people hate it. But he is consistent in not being consistent. If that helps

Araa_Nain:is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?
BreunoAuthor

As for if he is relying on a group, at the current point, he is indeed relying on others quite a bit. (Chapter 580 ish) Before, he has both relied and not relied on others. Depending on the situation and what was possible. As for solo'ing the game, I don't want to spoil things. All I can say is it isn't the standard game approach. (There is no soloing ANW, that isn't what and why ANW exists)

Araa_Nain:is the MC too smart like in MTOP ? he's not gonna solo the game right ? i mean like relying his group or smthing ?
BreunoAuthor

That again is hard to answer. Due to the nature of the story, it isn't that simple. For the premise and up to around chapter 500, the invading evil forces are the main villains (the cause of the invasion). But it isn't quite as black and white, and after chapter 500 things change massively. (You'll see that there are a bunch of chapters with change in title, and 'new reality' mini-arc)

Araa_Nain:oh another thing that bothering me, who is the main villain in the game ? the player or npc/ some kinda ' god ' ?
Araa_NainLv1

thank you for your honest answer. i will read all the free chapters, tq

BreunoAuthor

Hope you enjoy, :)

Araa_Nain:thank you for your honest answer. i will read all the free chapters, tq
BreunoAuthor

After a few more chapters, I just want to say that I feel there is still a bunch to come.

TheBlueCombat:Before going in to read it is the story nearing an end point? The latest chapters names make it sem As if it’s ending?
jaybay23911Lv1

Your doing a great job and I like the direction you've taken it. Hopefully you can keep balance of the narration from the simulation / reality, and not allow Eldrian to get to OP or things to get to whacky, without buildup. Really enjoying the story so far.

BreunoAuthor

Thanks, I certainly do try my best to make all power-ups slow and steady.

jaybay23911:Your doing a great job and I like the direction you've taken it. Hopefully you can keep balance of the narration from the simulation / reality, and not allow Eldrian to get to OP or things to get to whacky, without buildup. Really enjoying the story so far.
Val_Jasper_OjerioLv4

is this a novel or something like describing things etc...???

BreunoAuthor

Um this is a novel, but all novels describe things. That is how writing works, so not sure what your asking.

Val_Jasper_Ojerio:is this a novel or something like describing things etc...???
Bitrus_BarnsbasLv2

I've read up to chapter 670 and I was so hooked up to it it took a while to be away from it and I have to say the novel is amazing from the plot to the setting and the fact that the MC can also die and the moments and how everyone grows up due to the war, I love how you just did that and I like that you also reference all the stats when the MC is levelling up or gaining new gear. The story just fits together and I hope you don't stop writing

Other Reviews
GrifdacierLv4

Hello there 👋 ( be aware this review contain some slight spoiler but no major ) Okay so normally, I don’t write review very often, it’s my first to be exact Why could you expect from this book ? Pros : World backgroung : -Your typical western fantasy world with goblin, dwarfs, elves, but with many different races in the same species ( moon elves, sun elves, wood elves... ) Also the map is massive with tons of empire containig even more kingdom, at a point I loose myself sometimes. The lore of the world has not been fully explored but it will come in time... Character development : -First our MC is one of the most human like I’ve ever read, he has anger, embarrassment and all the emotions which define who we are. He is also a lamba human, not some son of mafia gang and all. He will passe several ordeals which will make him mature and affirm his will as well as his goal. He is a 19 man, little bit introvert and clueless in relationships but definitely not your typical nerd who is more dense than mercury. He will open more to others with the game and even through there is no romance until now, there is one main ship which is only waiting to sail. Story development : -*Spoiler* Our MC arrive in a world where a beast tide is about to rase every empire, estimed in the next couple of years if not months, so it’s a rush to becoming strong with a player community completely disorganised. * End of Spoiler* Character design : -There are several others side characters well made, they didn’t feel bland like i’ve seen in some other novel. *Spoiler* Some will die, some will lives, and the despair of the MC will be fully felt.* End of Spoiler* Plot armour : ( what i’m considering plot armour is heaven sent opportunity, like he has nothing to do. Because he will have oppotunity but at a cost he is not willing to shoulder if he was to have a redo) -There is little to no plot armor in this story, the first one will be he met a powerful guy ( at the start ) but this guy will train him like a normal soldier, not like a family heirloom and giving him all the secret techniques he don’t even has. The guy is powerful but only in the city he is. Also the path of the MC will not be a smooth one *Spoiler* , he will choose a very difficult race which magic is blocked so he will experiment many way to unseal it, also he will use every advantage his race talent give him, so if you kinda like jack of all trades it’s for you. Also regarding how he can use magic, he will not have the final solution from the beginning, he will experiment many different way, some wrong, some half-wrong and he is still not accustomed to his final form Also with these experiment, he will become quite special, not overpowered but he has the potential to be* End of spoiler*. Cons : -The pacing of the novel may be boring for some people, it’s a day to day pacing with IRL elements ( not massive but good enough to understand he is not only playing). Also,he will not become OP in tens of chapter. I’m currently at chapter 196 and he is still at the bottom of the barrel, just slightly stonger than normal player and normal soldier. Also the strength mesurement can be quit confusing for beast and human alike: There is your typical level which you gain by killing ennmies and it give you stat. There is also the job (like swordsman and magician) wich are in Tier ( from 1 to 10, each more difficult to pass with a qualitative change at Tier 5) it also give stats And beast have an other factor( player also has it if they choose a difficult race, powerful advantage but the sytem give no help ), the strength of their body : normal animal->magical beast->demonic beast->bloodline beast->ancient beast-> mythical beast So you have to understand strength is like : body strength*job*level with each less important tha the other : body strength>job>level for example a human tier 7 mage level 50 will be completely destroy by a mythical beast Tier 4 level 30 ( also beast don’t have job just tier) ( maybe not but i’m giving an example ) And finnaly the biggest problem this novel has for me is..... NOT ENOUGH CHAPTERS 🤬😡 (Even through the chapter are really lenghty)

c_novelLv11

In short, this novel follows a in the beginning mostly average person in his adventure into the VR-game A New World (ANW). The story includes several deep topics, from AI over what is life to psychological topics. It also has a slow progress in the overarching story progression. Many different things happen and there is a good mix of action, adventure and training both in-game and out-of-game with an in-depth magic system. The MC does really not get any rest. ––– detailed with mild spoilers ––– Writing Quality: Some minor errors which do not hamper comprehension. Action scenes are exciting and even the complex topics are understandable (if you do not rush read through the chapters). Story Development: The MC and the whole story makes slow but constant progress, which I find a much more realistic flow for a VR Novel. There was only one big timeskip in about 500 chapters, but I did not miss any. Where would they come from? Games are designed to be exciting and the MC does more than what the average player would. This novel also developes the real life story, which is rare. Real life does not stop just because there is an in-game event and it is the same the other way arround. The different encounters and events/quest are always exciting and the whole feel of the VR-Game which is too real for what a game is supposed to be is integrated well. New storylines are always introduced in a sensible way and up till now none of them were abandoned. Character Design: All characters have depth to them but backgrounds are not just dumped on the reader and thus only told, when a character asks or feels the need to give info. This means, that the reader has to think about how characters act and interact to get a comprehensive picture of the characters. Update Stability: Very good. One to two chapters a day with even length. Small pauses only when significant problems occur. Direct reader interaction from small backlog. World Background: The most realistic VR novel I have seen. Both real life and the game world are resonable and thought out. Cool and interesting magic system which does require thinking by the reader and rereading of past chapters after long pauses in reading. Compared to go "Mages are too op": Magic system keeps this detailed description which was only present in the early chapters of MATO. 500 chapters in this novel might be about at 100 chapters of MATO by developement of MC.

BookWorm313Lv13

As of chapter 47 Writing Quality: 4/5 Some spelling and grammer mistakes throughout the story. However this does not spoil the story and can be easily understood despite the minor mistakes. Story Development: 5/5 Despite only being 47 chapters so far, the story development is interesting. The fact that the author plays the role of VR extremely prominently is nice, but it would be more interesting if the MC backstory was shown as well. The battle scenes are done really well in this novel. The fact that the intro of the game (trailer) gave the storyline a strong foothold is interesting as other authors tend to not use such things. This is very unique to this story so i give the author props for implementing this unique dynamic. Character Design: 4/5 This takes into account that the novel is only 47 chapters long so far. There is little background information on the MC. How well to do his family is, etc. (there is some information but not alot). The side characters are not really evident at this point besides the female lead (potential love interest). Only some names are being thrown around here and there without any interesting or distinct facts about them. Updating Stability: 5/5 I do not know the stability of the update as I read all 47 chapters in a day. I just place 5/5 as I consider it stable until further notice. World Background: 5/5 The trialer of the game provided a good base for the VR world background. This is done better than most other novels. However, since this is a relatively new novel, there is a lot of room for world background expansion. I hooe the author can continue on this path as the expanaion of the world's background is exoanding at a nice pace. Overall: 4.6/5 The story is really interesting and one that I will continue to follow. This is one of the better newer novels on this site. I think people should pick this up to read at least until this point. The MC can be considered overpowered in some manner (compared to other players), but the content is still really interesting. Hope the author continues to work hard on this novel 👍

AeternabilisLv14

There are a couple of things that don't make sense... the mc shouldn't be that fat... He bikes to university every day and because he is at university he wouldn't spend anything on takeouts or tons of junk food to save money. It was also mentioned he didn't spend money like water and always saved what he earned. Boosting the fact that this makes little sense... To me, it just feels like you made him like that as a joke to try and make it funny. Leading to this being extremely forced... I'm not trying to hate, I'm just stating the fact that it just doesn't make sense giving the background you bought him upon. I also feel like him being a "chubby" elf is going to be a reoccurring joke throughout until he slims down from the training. For me, this is just going to annoy tf outta me as I will always think back to this and how it was forced anyway leading to all mentions of it just annoying me more each time. If that makes sense? I hope this doesn't happen constantly with the forced try at humour as it would be extremely disappointing. If you want humour it will flow naturally in the story. There is no need to force it as it will just bring down the story as a whole. Oh, another thing is his chosen name. Like wtf? Who cares what it means in Chinese? He is an elf... chose an elf name. His own name Eldrian? Is more fcking elfy than Haru... If he was a human I wouldn't mind him having the name Haru but he is not. He is an elf... It's like the mc is a dragon and calling it Haru. It doesn't fit at all. The immersive feel of the book is again compromised by doing this. I am assuming the Author is chinses? Again this is not hate so don't take it as that. It's just you are writing about an elf so why give it a human name? That sort of thing. So far it isn't looking like a great book but I haven't read a lot yet. I will read further and change the review depending on how it reads later.

Awesome_Sauce_9607Lv3

Up to: Chapter 470 This is, by far, one of the best-written novels on this site, and it’s hard for me to find things I dislike about it, excluding two decisions Eldrian made that I found highly disagreeable, but I won’t go over that since I don’t want to dissuade you from trying this amazing novel for yourself and it’s not a huge deal at the end of the day. The MC is overall very competently written, and has a distinct personality not found in many of the bland OP protagonists that litter the site. Sometimes he messes up, but I prefer it that way as it shows he isn’t a mindless perfection robot. This is doubly so since the author made sure to give him some real, actual flaws that hinder him in ways he doesn’t realize and that the author doesn’t specially highlight. Even if it isn’t especially common that it happens explicity, his flaws are pervasive in all the ways he acts and he acts in character very consistently, though he does change over time. The only other novels on this site I’ve read that share similarly well-written MCs would be Supreme Magus and The Oracle Paths, and it’s a huge breath of fresh air. Other than the MC, the world and magic system in particular is super well thought-out, and most of the time unanswered questions are not left as loose ends. The novel is a bit of a slow burn, but it’s superbly executed; that extra time between improvement isn’t filler, but instead juicy bits of lore, IRL stuff, third-person tidbits, training, and tasks, with only a couple of minor timeskips. We’re almost at 500 chapters, and not even half a year has passed because we’re pretty much following everything Eldrian does in its entirety (again, minus a few time skips). This is a huge plus for me, as I really hate a majority of mid-story time skips even if they’re really well done and a one-time thing like in One Piece. Either way, I strongly recommend that you at least try to trad this hidden gem, I highly doubt you’ll regret it.

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