webnovel
MokouFriedChicken
MokouFriedChickenLv34yr
2020-07-26 08:09

A well realized world. There's clearly a plan here with the amount of details that're present in the story, which, IMO, is essential when writing something of this scale. Prose and dialogue flows naturally and the grammar has minimal to no errors. Very professional. Keep on writing đź‘Ť

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
Phodoodles
PhodoodlesAuthor

Glad to see you enjoy it! I like your work too!

Other Reviews
The_Procrastinator
The_ProcrastinatorLv4
tuba_san
tuba_sanLv3

As a part of my new honest review swap policy, I will not hold back. The author really knows how to establish the plot. The well-timed flashback gives the reader not only an insight on the powers of MC but also informs of them of the MCs family and the political conditions between major factions. And as the story progresses we keep getting more tidbits about the power of different groups of people. We even get to know about the power struggle between different factions. The story is written in first person view but there aren't any elements of roleplay-esque writing. It's actually very smooth, although in a few places I think there could have been a more interesting way of describing the MCs actions. Because too many repetitive words just make the descriptions clunky and lengthy. In some places its not possible to remove these lengthy descriptions but in places where they can be avoided, I'd recommend the author to avoid them. There are too many new things in the novel. Just in the first 3-4 chapters there is an overwhelming amount of information. But without this information the reader wouldn't know anything. So it's necessary to keep this information here. But I think it's very likely that readers can't absorb all this information. So I'd recommend the author to reinforce some of it in the later chapters when the basic background has been set. And also to write an auxiliary chapter focusing on what powers different groups of people possess. And a separate auxillary chapter mentioning the different factions and giving their most basic views towards each other. The grammar is very good. But there are some errors in there. I'd recommend for the author to review the first few chapters again and correct whatever they can find because I don't think these errors are there because of lack of skill. I think they are just mistakes. Coming back to old chapters and reading them with a clear mind gives an author a better chance to spot mistakes in grammar or word usage.

Related Stories

Re: Evolution Online

On just another normal Monday, a new virtual reality game called "Evolution Online" launched out of nowhere and took the world by storm. People were blown away by the game’s hyper-realistic features and endless adventures. Everyone from small companies to big corporations and governments scrambled to get a foothold on this mysterious video game. But what they didn't know was that this game was actually a tutorial for the upcoming apocalypse that was about to hit the planet! The game was a precursor to the Earth's first evolution, where mana was going to be unleashed into the real world! Liam, a high school student who had faced numerous setbacks in his life, turned to 'Evolution Online' in the hope of changing his fate, but instead, he got trapped in the game's twisted world, and things went from bad to worse. When the apocalypse finally arrived, Liam barely managed to escape, but his situation didn't improve. Along with millions of others, he died a miserable death, unable to fight back and filled with regret. However, Liam's story didn't end there. He found himself inexplicably transported back in time before everything started! Armed with the knowledge of what was to come, Liam was determined to become the strongest and most powerful player, unleashing destruction upon the world that had ruined him before! This time, things were going to be different! ******************* Discord Link for chatting with author and character art https://discord.gg/XS7gWScKn8

Yolohy · Fantasy
4.8
1381 Chs

Armipotent

This is a work of fiction, any names, characters, stories or events, are fictitious! (Even the country in the story is just the author's fantasy as the author never visited those countries in the story) Armipotent is an archaic adjective meaning "strong in battle." Basically, it refers to someone who is physically tough in war. Originally, it was used to refer to the Roman god of war, Mars. ===================== Tang Shaoyang, an orphan who dropped out of the middle school to fight on the street as he found out school was useless for a penniless orphan like him. Tang Shaoyang dropped out of his school, fighting on the street, and made a name for himself. Berserker Tang from Youyouliucun. Afterward, Dragon Wing triad recruited him and everything was good for him. Even though the public deemed him as a tumor of society, Tang Shaoyang was having a decent life. Until one day, everything changed as an absurd and strange game started. "... Game starts! Stage one: Survival for The Fittest!" After the game started, zombies appeared out of nowhere. ... Ding! "You have killed 1000 zombies less than 24 hours since the game started! You gained 3 Talents!" Dong! "You may choose 3 Talents! please choose carefully!" Tang Shaoyang held his chin and mused what Talent he had to choose. "With Zombies appear everywhere, I need an infinite strength... this is one, I still need to choose 2 Talents more..." Then a lewd smile formed on his lips. "I want an infinite strength, charm and charisma to conquer women, and the last one, I want to upgrade my **** so I can please my women!" After saying this, Tang Shaoyang laughed aloud. "Hahaha, there's no way such talent exists... ehhhhh?!!!" Ding! Dong! "3 Talents are consumed! You have been granted Divine Body! Good Luck, Gamer Tang Shaoyang!" Tang Shaoyang immediately checked the detail of Divine Body. After a brief silence, he muttered unbelievably. "Such Talents really exist..." Note: I don't own the cover. If the creator wants me to take down the cover or put credit, please notify me by replying to my review at the Review section.

HotIce · Fantasy
4.4
1817 Chs