webnovel
zd4zaa
zd4zaaLv13yr
2021-04-09 21:59

Hi! This is kera, an editor of the international writing contest SWA II. I believe your book has great potential, so I invited you to join in a week ago. Please reply to me so I can discuss this with you in detail.

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zd4zaa
zd4zaaLv1

Hi! I'm still waiting for you reply.

Other Reviews
neaht3
neaht3Lv2

The author has invested a lot of time in this work, and it is visible. I like how the characters are contrasting with each other. Some are kind, others drip poison from every word they say, third can be rather neutral or biased! It's so colorful. The author takes time to develop the characters personality-wise but also attempts to psychologically assess them or the least to reason their choices. Why something was done, why another thing was not done - the rationality is kept even within irrational choices the main characters did. I like that. I would say that grammar-wise it still has some way to go but, to be honest, many novels I have read do have some work to do on the grammar. Therefore, paid authors do hire editors and proofreaders! So, I would not criticize the grammar. English is understandable and delivers the emotional parts very well. My only advice is to work a bit on the world-building. The author does mention now and then what world Ariena lives in, how she grew up, and how she sees the world - however, this is more of a psychological assessment of the character. If you invest in world-building, you can also reap some fruits of a dynamic plot. World-building can open opportunities for some really unknown or mysterious situations where you can 'test' your developed characters. However, I am not a person who is into romance genre that much. So, it might be just my obsession with world-building '_' So, do not take me to heart. Probably a person who is obsessed with romance would tell me to shut the heck up hahaha. Conclusion. The author is strong when it comes to the character's design and psychological explanation for situations, choices, feelings, etc. The story pace is good though... in the beginning, I felt it was a bit dragged but it had its reason as some predisposition had to be laid for later chapters. Therefore, this is not a critique. However, the world background is a bit weak in my opinion. I would definitely try to bring some meat to the boney settings as the way it is, the chapter might lose its shine after another 40 chapters. However, one cannot judge as it is not clear how long the author plans it to be. In my opinion, I would try to bring in a bit of the world development, what the environment they live in can bring? How can you manipulate it? Would it change your character or would your character change the environment? Hm. Given the fact you are into psychological things, I am very sure that world background would only benefit you.

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