webnovel
NotUse
NotUseLv44yr
2020-05-25 20:24

Writing Quality is profound. I cannot judge the grammar of this book for I am also terrible when it comes to grammar. I have not seen any misspelled words. The author uses uncommon descriptive words to gather a reader's attention. For the stability of updates I assume that the author posts chapters daily, but! Do not overwork yourself. A nice rest is needed once in a while. The world background The world background is amazing. The way the author describes every scenario captivates me to further read the novel. Story Development Deepest apologies, I cannot decide if it is a fast or slow pace since there are only eight chapters. Still, the plot is not lackluster therefore I'll rate this category five stars. Characters The characters are lovable and unique The author has described each detail profoundly. I have no complaints or whatsoever, keep up the good work! Overall: I give this novel a five over five. I highly recommend this book to everyone. Keep up the good work author! Oh, nice prologue by the way.

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies1
yizreel_jez
yizreel_jezAuthor

Thanks for the nice review! it inspired me more to further continue this story

Other Reviews
Snowin
SnowinLv3

My rating - 4.6/5 Here's why: First off, cool title. Its catchy and already hooks me in, despite me not knowing anything about the story. Nice Job! Synopsis: Cut the last line out, where you say "He addedd.." and so on. It ruins the ******* you built up in the previous lines and is quite unnecessary. Just delete the last line and you got yourself a fine synopsis. Writing - I can easily see this is most likely your first work? I would assume so, because you are struggling with exactly the same things I used to struggle with. You are drastically overusing the word "and," also, you arent using it to make the writing flow smoothly. A lot of sentences just seem like they need a proofreader and it would tightly be redefined into something great. Again, this is just my opinion as a reader. Also, you are using far too many elements into one piece of writing. For example, you used ** to signal events, you use a script-like format in the second chapter where the dialogue is just guy 1: guy 2: girl:1 and so on. Its unecessary and its not very unique. I also personally dont like when people use sound affects as in WOWOWOW andf BAAAM. it gets overused too much and i just feel like its a lazy way of describing something. I would also like to see some descriptions of scenes and people. There was almost nothing to visualize in the first two chapters, other than the prologue. As far as story - an academy is very cliche and overused, and very hard to make unique. However, the stealing of powers is very interesting and I actually really like the concept. Keep writing it, im interested to see where this goes. Also, and the most important tip of all (something i struggle with currently ) SHOW, don't Tell. That about sums it up. Sorry if this seems harsh, but im giving you honest feedback that people are afraid to do on this site. I, just like you, am still improving and working to get better and better at writing. So take this as critisism, either way, it was a fun read. And later on, im sure you'll do fantastic as a writer! NICE JOB!

Related Stories

Re: Evolution Online

On just another normal Monday, a new virtual reality game called "Evolution Online" launched out of nowhere and took the world by storm. People were blown away by the game’s hyper-realistic features and endless adventures. Everyone from small companies to big corporations and governments scrambled to get a foothold on this mysterious video game. But what they didn't know was that this game was actually a tutorial for the upcoming apocalypse that was about to hit the planet! The game was a precursor to the Earth's first evolution, where mana was going to be unleashed into the real world! Liam, a high school student who had faced numerous setbacks in his life, turned to 'Evolution Online' in the hope of changing his fate, but instead, he got trapped in the game's twisted world, and things went from bad to worse. When the apocalypse finally arrived, Liam barely managed to escape, but his situation didn't improve. Along with millions of others, he died a miserable death, unable to fight back and filled with regret. However, Liam's story didn't end there. He found himself inexplicably transported back in time before everything started! Armed with the knowledge of what was to come, Liam was determined to become the strongest and most powerful player, unleashing destruction upon the world that had ruined him before! This time, things were going to be different! ******************* Discord Link for chatting with author and character art https://discord.gg/XS7gWScKn8

Yolohy · Fantasy
4.8
1419 Chs