Bro tell me honestly is English your fith language. How is it that all eleven of your chapters structureully be jack **** yet your synopsis be good. The storry idea is good but GODDAME does the way you write his speach and inner monolouge piss me off. Your to wishy washy with details and explanations that aren't even necessary to add in. I mean when he entered the hostes of fertility and spoke with mia you wrote or mia said " your a ball of odd." REALLY, A FUCKING BALL OF ODD. Couldn't you have just said he was strange or actually use the phrase correctly for example." Your an odd one aren't you" Besides that update is okay background is just danmachi and the charachter design of the mc is unique.
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Beats me, I don't know why you so triggered to those particular words. And I tried to write something that is not just a mere dialogue script, was it so wrong?
It's not that it's wrong. Everyone's different. Some people might not care, some might even like the way you right. But for me I just can seem to focus when trying to read it and I end up skipping lines because the ones before dident make sense to me.
Well everyone had different tastes, I guess. Thanks for taking the time to review and voice your opinion. I'll keep in mind what you said, no promises though.
