webnovel
kazesenken
kazesenkenLv35yr
2019-11-06 11:04

The strong point of this novel so far from the chapters I read are: the unique, uncharacteristic female lead and the potential that I see going forward with this kind of story. However, the execution seems a bit messy. The world building is a bit lacking and inconsistent. The dialogue so far is lacking in variety. I would advise to start off with more background and world building, which you seem to do in chapter 4, but seems placed weirdly. I find it difficult to appreciate a MC that so far has little personality other than reacting wildly to the current situation. There needs to be more inner thought and character to make the reader see and sympathize with the MC. I think the story would improve greatly if it was outlined a bit better.

Transmigration: The Narcissistic Cinderella

ShinSungmi
4.5
185 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Tea_Tae
Tea_TaeLv13

Reveal spoiler

5yr

Norah_Koch
Norah_KochLv5

So we have a supernatural-themed story with a system. There are vampires, a sarcastic cute system, and a villainous/bad woman with a second chance. This is a 3 chapter review. So far, I LIKE the MC. The start is awesome and u can empathize with the mc... because who isn't a fool in love. RECOMMENDED.

5yr
SplitEric
SplitEricLv10

Shit! I wish I didn't give my stones up already! I actually get really into vampire stuff. So I'm going to really waste summer hours on this lol. Great job author and Awesome name btw Shin Sungumi.. I love it

5yr
Paula_Castillo_5344
Paula_Castillo_5344Lv1

This is good())))))))()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()123456789101234578012469093002469”,(.76;.(86,?7?), ychvhvjvjcggk

4yr
Rose_Vit
Rose_VitLv11

These is story has i original plot even when there is a similar vampire and transmigation theme. The f l is unique, in some points it feels like she needs a modals lessons. Neverteless I strongly recomend you first read Transmigration: The cannon fodder the beauty and the mask beast; in order to understand better. La historia esta muy bien escrita, aunque el tema es muy fantasioso la manera en que esta redactado la hace una historia agradable y aunque con mucho detalle badtante ligera. Sin embargo, insisto hay que leer la primer historia para poder comprender las particularidades del contexto y para empatizar con la protagonista a pesar de su personalidad.

5yr
Mandy_Rosella
Mandy_RosellaLv2

So we have a supernatural-themed story with a system. There are vampires, a sarcastic cute system, and a villainous/bad woman with a second chance. This is a 3 chapter review. So far, I LIKE the MC. The start is awesome and u can empathize with the mc... because who isn't a fool in love. RECOMMENDED.

4yr
traygardener
traygardenerLv2

So we have a supernatural-themed story with a system. There are vampires, a sarcastic cute system, and a villainous/bad woman with a second chance. This is a 3 chapter review. So far, I LIKE the MC. The start is awesome and u can empathize with the mc... because who isn't a fool in love. RECOMMENDED.

4yr
Bishop_Davis
Bishop_DavisLv2

.

4yr
Sjw_Ch
Sjw_ChLv3

Gjoookjberrhrhrjjrkroeoeoiwjwbbw..bdjeieo3o3oiehrgrgrhrjejeieoeiieuu Vururrjjekeejejej Huiei3oe9eoeieeiie Ueieieieieieiii3ieiejejejeo0e0eoeiekekeooeeoekkek.d d .x.xb,n,j,u,,,i9f949prelk3k3k3kekeeooeoee

4yr
Related Stories

Young master Damien's pet

"Who touched you?" he asked, his eyes brooding down at her and when she didn't answer, his voice thundered in the room, "WHO?" The butler who stood near the wall spoke shakily, "Sir, it was Mr. Reverale," Damien's face turned sour, his jaw ticking in anger he turned his face to the side where the butler stood behind. "Bring the man here." "N-now?" stuttered the butler. It was the time of night. Damien who hadn't broken his eye contact with the girl in front of him, pushed his hand against the wall which now rested beside his beautiful girl's head. Turning his body, he first looked at his butler who had his head bowed. With great courage, the butler came to meet his Master's eyes, "Do you have any other better time? Or should it be after I wring your neck?" Damien asked calmly tilting his head. Not a second later, the butler ran out of the room to return back with Mr. Reverale after twenty minutes. "Damien, are we having a late tea party?" Mr. Reverale came to greet but the master of the house had other plans. Spotting the knife that was stuck to the apple on the table, he reached for it to pull it out. Just as Mr. Reverale went to exchange a handshake with him, Damien took hold of his hand to place it on the table. In one swift movement as if he were chopping onions, he chopped the four fingers of the man off his hand making him yelp and cry in pain. "No one touches what is mine. I am sure this will remind you the next time you even think about touching her," sighed Damien as if he were tired of telling people to keep their dirty hands off his belongings. Meet Damien Quinn, a pureblooded vampire who is a complete narcissist, brash with his words and stingy even though he is rich who haggled when he bought a slave from the black market. On the other hand, meet Penelope who believes she is a 'guest' for a few days at the Quinn as she is intent on escaping from the odd vampire who needs therapy. ~ Discord: https://discord.gg/K63uVqN

ash_knight17 · Fantasy
4.8
761 Chs

The Male Lead isn't Following the Script!

Adeline didn't expect she would transmigrate into the trashy novel she read years ago. The plot was so cliched that she couldn't bring herself to finish it. Years later, she found that very book on her bed, the page was open to the villainess' execution and before she knew it she found herself in the very novel she hated. The evil villainess who couldn't stand her two childhood friends become completely enamoured by the female lead, she decided to take care of the matter herself and thus became the public enemy. She now became the villainess of the story! "I do not accept this!" Adeline yelled at the top of her lungs. "I will change the plot." The Crown Prince she rejected won't leave her alone. The cold Northern Duke clung to her and wouldn't let go. The Arch Mage wants to abandon his duties and serve as her personal knight, and the Head Priest is obsessed with her! The Male leads she wished to avoid won't leave her alone! ---------------------------------------------------------------- Obsessive male lead- check. Funny but strong female lead- check. Amazing family- check. Annoying Goddess- also check.

punzygracy · Fantasy
4.8
216 Chs

You‘re Just My Ex-Husband,My Lord

Before they got married, Laurent already knew that Dave Washington had another woman in his heart, yet she still chose to marry him because Dave had always been the one she loved. She loved Dave, but his heart belonged to another woman. It was said that this woman loved another man, who happened to be Dave's illegitimate half-brother. Laurent believed that having a child would secure their shaky marriage. Until one day, the woman Dave loved finally told him, "Actually, the person I love is you." Laurent had devoted her youth and energy to this sensational and messy love story, only to helplessly watch it collapse. Heartbroken, she chose to divorce. She thought Dave's infidelity would make her easily give up on the house, car, and property during the divorce, with the only request being custody of their daughter. But to her surprise, Dave insisted that she was unfit to raise their daughter and refused to give her custody. In order to fight for her daughter, she embarked on a long and exhausting legal battle. She said to him, "You're so persistent—aren't you worried your lover is waiting for you anxiously?" Dave smiled and replied, "If you have time to worry about her, you might as well get a new lawyer." In a fit of rage, she threw a cup of water in his face. "Dave Washington, you're despicable!" Yes, every lawyer she hired was bought off by him with large sums of money. Finally, disheartened, she gave up custody of their daughter and decided to leave the country to heal. But he sent someone to intercept her at the airport...

c_l_dd · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
80 Chs

Reborn In Space: Pampering The Genius Doctor And Businesswoman

She had been lonely and helpless in her previous life and ended up being wronged and imprisoned. Now that she was reborn with a precious heirloom bestowed on her, she activated an alternate space and became a doctor after absorbing all medical knowledge within. As she opened her own clinic, set up her own company, purchased houses and lands and found her birth family, her worth and social status rocketed and attracted more and more suitors. “Master, that chap from the Zhao family pretended to be sick and went to seek treatment from the future mistress yesterday…” said one of the servants. “Break his legs and injure him inside out! He wants to be sick? I shall make him sick for real if that is what he wants!” said the man unhappily. “Yes, Master. But…what are you doing now, Master?” the servant asked curiously as the man swallowed a bunch of expired food. “I am sick now. I need to seek treatment from my wife,” the man pretended to be weak and said.

Nian Xiao Hua · Fantasy
4.5
1436 Chs

Stolen by the Beastly Lycan King

Lorelai is an unwanted princess; a puppet in the hands of the royal family. Born weak and raised loyal only to her kingdom, she has no real power and is constantly abused by both her stepmother and her son. Her value lies in one thing only––marriage. Thus, she is to marry Duke Kalder, an old but powerful and influential man whose previous wives have all gone missing under mysterious circumstances. That is until she meets him. Tall, dark, strong, mysterious, irresistible, seductive. The King of Lycans. The King of Beasts. The Gypsy King. One who was once a slave now controls the biggest and strongest, most feared kingdom of the continent. And for some reason, he has his eyes set only on Lorelai. Important note: this is a historical fantasy novel and in its context, the word "Gypsy" is only used as a name of a nomad tribe and is not used as a slur.

yoojee · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
164 Chs

The Marriage of an Esteemed Supreme Healer, a Noble Ruler

In her previous life, she was the esteemed princess destined to be worshipped by everyone. However, she ultimately burns herself to death when she is betrayed on the eve of her wedding day! She is reborn into a declining aristocratic family as a loser and forgotten daughter. While she leads a life full of bullying and suffering, the ones who had hurt her before are already enjoying the glory of the world at the top! Once reborn, the phoenix dances to the nine heavens, taming magical beasts, strengthening her force, and dictating life and death of gods and humans as the master healer. To those who betrayed and humiliated her, she swears a hundred-fold return on them for the torture she suffered! … His Highness, Prince Li, is frail and gentle. As the Night King who holds the world in his hands, he gives everything up for the sake of one person. To his only love, he promises her a life with eternal peace and joy. … She thinks her journey would be filled with blood and tears, but she doesn’t know that what awaits her is a long-premeditated lifetime of love and prosperity! One little drama along the way… At first, everyone advised, “Your Highness, the forgotten daughter of the Chu family is unworthy of you!” Later, everyone mocked, “The frail Prince will never be a worthy match to the Princess destined for greatness!” In the end, everyone sighed sorrowfully, “Why? Is she really worth it?” He simply smiled. “I will follow her even if she is in the clouds; if she turns into dust, I will follow suit, too. For her, nothing was bitter in our previous lives; our remaining years will be full of sweetness.

Zhan Xiye · Fantasy
4.7
2588 Chs

The Alpha's Fated Outcast: Rise Of The Moonsinger.

“I will not be defined as a ‘wolfless deviant’ I will not be a pawn in the 'games Alphas play' And I refuse to be mated to the stranger who crashed into my life and turned everything upside down… Only that might be my biggest challenge yet.” Those were the words Lyla chanted to herself as she left the annual werewolf gala, drenched in her sweat and her pheromones. Only days ago, she was a happy teenager existing in the human world – trying to get through college and go far away, forget everything she’s been through and start life afresh but now, she’s in the middle of the gala, sprawled on the ground with her desires in everyone’s face and Alpha Ramsey Kincaid – the Lycan leader of the White Moon Throne extending his hands towards her. If she takes it, she would bring dishonour to her family because she is in no state to be mingling with anyone, talk more of the Lycan leader who was out of her league and if she refuses, she risks being sent to the pack prison for not taking better care of herself during her heat - Yes, it was a crime for her to be without a wolf. But when he touches her, something inside her stirs… Desires? Yes! Powers hidden by the moon goddess? Yes! And maybe just maybe, the stirrings of her missing wolf whose voice can calm feral wolves and heal … Can she learn to trust this man whose mouth says a different thing and his hands speak another language or would she become a pawn – a piece of chess in the games ‘Alphas play’? One thing’s for certain- Lyla Woodlands was done being the pack’s little, dirty ‘wolfless deviant’. It’s time this wolfless wonder showed them what she’s made of. #Slow burn #Wispy old prophecies # Love Triangle - ML and FL best friend #Villian in love with FL Join my discord group: https://discord.gg/t2w9NgC4

Ejiofor_Dorcas · Fantasy
4.5
190 Chs
Login