Review Detail of Shadow_Magus in

A good plot. Quite a few grammatical errors, but none that make the story unable to be understood. The dialogues of the story seen too premeditated as though to only convey a single meaning for the sake of the plot and no other. Adding some life to the dialogues for each person would help build the character more easily. Just like for the mother queen, you can emulate a certain quality of the character only through their habits during conversation. But a good plot so far, and i'm waiting for new chapters.