webnovel
Moodyread_0987
Moodyread_0987Lv145yr
2019-08-08 08:38

............................................... Sorry for the correction, but I'm quite sure that Tony stark, vibranium and phoenix force in the synopsis is not DC' stuff. It's from Marvel. So I think It doesn't match the title. . . . CMIIAW ...................... ...................... ......................

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
Replies19
Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

Darthnorther
DarthnortherAuthor

It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.

newthings
newthingsLv6

only for contest or will be continued afterwards?

InoueAkio
InoueAkioLv13

Yup it sure is Marvel's

DragonkingKyo
DragonkingKyoLv6

is this a harem?(hope so)

Darthnorther:It isn't exactly related, but will be rewarded through lottery or something like that.
Gulf_Alpha_Yankee
Gulf_Alpha_YankeeLv13

I hope you die

DragonkingKyo:is this a harem?(hope so)
DragonkingKyo
DragonkingKyoLv6

thanks for pointing out how disgusting of a person you are wish others death over a small thing you are an example of the worse and most pathetic of humanity now good day to you, you disgusting vile little thing.

Gulf_Alpha_Yankee:I hope you die
Gulf_Alpha_Yankee
Gulf_Alpha_YankeeLv13

you do know what a joke is right?

DragonkingKyo:thanks for pointing out how disgusting of a person you are wish others death over a small thing you are an example of the worse and most pathetic of humanity now good day to you, you disgusting vile little thing.
DragonkingKyo
DragonkingKyoLv6

can't really tell when it is in writing as it isn't like the tone of your voice can be hear especially when I have seen people actual mean it over the same thing.

Gulf_Alpha_Yankee:you do know what a joke is right?
Gulf_Alpha_Yankee
Gulf_Alpha_YankeeLv13

I meant it a little bit. I have really bad experiences with harem novels they have ruined my favorite novels. and like 90 percent of novels on here are harem.

DragonkingKyo:can't really tell when it is in writing as it isn't like the tone of your voice can be hear especially when I have seen people actual mean it over the same thing.
DragonkingKyo
DragonkingKyoLv6

that isn't the harem genres fault that is the authors fault for doing a harem without wanting to make the effort to do it right most seem to think a harem is easier then a non harem when it takes the same effort if not a little more as harems are still suppose to be a romance but most harems stories seem to have lazy authors that just want to use harems to draw in people but not do the work to make it good or at least decent.

Gulf_Alpha_Yankee:I meant it a little bit. I have really bad experiences with harem novels they have ruined my favorite novels. and like 90 percent of novels on here are harem.
Other Reviews
Saadido_
Saadido_Lv3

Keep in mind I only got to ch.20. Really f'n boring. The beginning was promising 'like woo a system story, this will be a fun little op trot through the dc comics.' Nah, the author is kinda not that smart. To give perspective, he thinks humans use less than 10% of their brains type of not smart. The author time skips the whole training arc! Any character growth, story progression, attachment to the characters, everything absolutely crucial to story telling is thrown right down the toilet. And the worst part is there's zero scenes where the mc works for any of his advantages, so the character is instantly unlikable. Then suddenly There's a ten chapter paint drying extravaganza of a skirmish in which the Mc doesn't even participate only characters introduced during the chapters. It;s clear to everyone reading that this author thinks writing works like a movie where flashing lights and beautiful girls can carry the team like a diamond 3 boasting silvers, but nah m8. Flashing lights aren't impressive as dry letters on a page. Don't get me started on the dialogue. That thing is written by a 1990's AI attempting human speech while running on a toaster. Bad. This is actually kinda sad. The good parts are the premise and the grammar is passable. That's about it. How to fix this mess is easy. First you have to realize that the reader can't see the cool bits and bobbles happening in your head. The cool stuff your mc does should be written down the mistakes that have an effect on him should be written down. The same goes for all important characters. Sex appeal is a crutch you can lean on pretty easily. The first arc is meant to sell your reader the characters and premise you created. Keep it simple. Less is more in this case. Characters should be as human as you can possibly make them. Even the epic heroes of the past still have fatal flaws and personality. Keep reading good books. Last but not least don't stop writing any skill is impossible to perfect the first hundreds of hours you spend on it, but that's the toll you pay to maybe become the next J.R.R. Martin or Tolkien. Maybe even Rowling but try not to go too insane like that one. Hope this gave you some much needed criticism author.

Related Stories