webnovel
perseusd24
perseusd24Lv45yr
2019-12-20 01:40

I only read till chapter 3 I am sorry to give a low recommendation but this is because I am someone who believes in the line THE CHILD SHOULD NOT PAY FOR THE SINS OF THE FATHER and this is exactly what you did in chapter 3 I don't know if u changed this in later chapters and I don't want to know Even though DC is dark I honestly would have kept reading if the person who ordered their death was a villain but u make it the Mc father and that is just something that doesn't sit right with me

In the DC World with a System

Darthnorther
3.8
74 Chs

Liked by 4 people

LIKE
Replies1
Kuttino_Aldridge_9253
Kuttino_Aldridge_9253Lv1

I would agree with you but real world history is a different story. When establishing a new empire or taking control of one you had to eliminate threats at the roots. If you kill the parents of a monarch and spare the child, many political factions not content with your rule can use the child to start a revolution with the goal of using that child to replace you. That child would be used as a figure head for the nobles to rule from the shadows. As much as I agree that the child be free of his parents sins you can't deny the eventual threat he would present if given the means of revenge. Batman himself is a prime example of this.

2yr
Other Reviews
Saadido_
Saadido_Lv3

Keep in mind I only got to ch.20. Really f'n boring. The beginning was promising 'like woo a system story, this will be a fun little op trot through the dc comics.' Nah, the author is kinda not that smart. To give perspective, he thinks humans use less than 10% of their brains type of not smart. The author time skips the whole training arc! Any character growth, story progression, attachment to the characters, everything absolutely crucial to story telling is thrown right down the toilet. And the worst part is there's zero scenes where the mc works for any of his advantages, so the character is instantly unlikable. Then suddenly There's a ten chapter paint drying extravaganza of a skirmish in which the Mc doesn't even participate only characters introduced during the chapters. It;s clear to everyone reading that this author thinks writing works like a movie where flashing lights and beautiful girls can carry the team like a diamond 3 boasting silvers, but nah m8. Flashing lights aren't impressive as dry letters on a page. Don't get me started on the dialogue. That thing is written by a 1990's AI attempting human speech while running on a toaster. Bad. This is actually kinda sad. The good parts are the premise and the grammar is passable. That's about it. How to fix this mess is easy. First you have to realize that the reader can't see the cool bits and bobbles happening in your head. The cool stuff your mc does should be written down the mistakes that have an effect on him should be written down. The same goes for all important characters. Sex appeal is a crutch you can lean on pretty easily. The first arc is meant to sell your reader the characters and premise you created. Keep it simple. Less is more in this case. Characters should be as human as you can possibly make them. Even the epic heroes of the past still have fatal flaws and personality. Keep reading good books. Last but not least don't stop writing any skill is impossible to perfect the first hundreds of hours you spend on it, but that's the toll you pay to maybe become the next J.R.R. Martin or Tolkien. Maybe even Rowling but try not to go too insane like that one. Hope this gave you some much needed criticism author.

5yr

unIReap
unIReapLv14

what a dump, 13 chapters for a text fight, when he can end it in 1-2 chapters, the MC have technology to finish the fight before it started but chose to drag this sh1t out.

5yr
Geneses1
Geneses1Lv14

I like it it has everything any person could like interesting plot, future decisions. I just hope that the summoning is about animals not humans or it will get dumb real quick.

5yr
king_adjei
king_adjeiLv3

great story.... however it is yet to be seen if he will finish this or go on hiatus, most (almost all)fanfic's never get finished. sgegadgkddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

5yr
kiragaya_kazuto
kiragaya_kazutoLv10

It is a very nice story love how the author has taken pre-existing storyline to develop his own story , I would stress on this point because the main thing about any book that is being read is for the reader to be able to imagine the story . In this story that is easy because there are movie and your own favorite person who has portrayed it and you can just imagine them . I would love it if the author could update 1 chapter everyday , but what is happening now is also very comfortable and hope the author won't drop this book and fight through all the negatives and appreciate the positives and the love the fans and reader of this book can offer .

5yr
CH405Kaiser
CH405KaiserLv6

While everything else is passable, the author needs to work on his grammar for the story to flow. There are several times descriptions of parents or other stuff is unnecessary because it doesn’t contribute to the story at all. Like i don’t need the description of both his parents unless the mc is going to bone them both in his bed.

5yr
Xandalar
XandalarLv13

Not really a fan every thing happens to fast all and all not a very good story.........................................................................

5yr
Pripriri
PripririLv5

@@@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@@.@.@.@.@.@.@.@.

5yr
Tarhanis
TarhanisLv5

Good story but need more chapter to really judge the plot and see if the author will continue to make a good story .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

5yr
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