There isn't much for me to nitpick here except the small number of grammar errors ( getting an editor would easily fic that). I also suggest you break your paragraphs into smaller ones so that it doesn't feel too burdening while reading. The plot is good, the background the story is based on seems fine too. I couldn't give a detailed review since we are just 2 chapters into the story. Good luck, don't drop.
Vig_VS
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