webnovel
slaktarfisken
slaktarfiskenLv154yr
2020-06-02 08:37

I only managed to read the first few paragraphs before giving up. The idea shows promise the execution, though, does unfortunately not live up to that promise. This story needs significant editing and spell-checking. Maybe that gets better further into the story, but I find the sentence building and grammatical errors to be too off-putting to continue reading.

Liked by 13 people

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Replies1
slaktarfisken
slaktarfiskenLv15

I recommend the author to buy the spelling and grammar tool called Grammarly. It would significantly improve the quality of the author's work. The free version might be good enough, but the premium version is then times better, though it comes at the price of approximately $100 a year.

Other Reviews
SexyYoungMaster
SexyYoungMasterLv14
NotYourCat
NotYourCatLv11

Well, decent story, I gave this story average of 3.8 * for this story... Well, I really like the concept and world-building of this story, the story is interesting and the characteristic of the character also strong, but here is the thing that bothers me and makes me less enjoy when reading this story 1. The author really wants the misunderstand troupe of MC is weak from bystander continue, we'll I know it is to drive the plot but continuing it for a long time is annoying. Moreover the build-up each time when people offend the MC isn’t get paid by the conclusion, aka, the conclusion is not really satisfying... 2. I know that the MC is a kind hero before, but how he reacts and doing something is really annoying, like what the purposes of hiding his identity when you literally always blurted out his identity as master... And the stupidity why he hides his strength... 3. Less screentime of MC’s slice of life, I mean I am interested in this story because the title and the synopsis also tag make me want to read about MC slice of life as retired OP HERO... But his slice of life time is so little here, also what got us hooked about this genre, like face slapping etc isn’t included here, just like I said above, the author introduced many xianxia’s cliche arrogant character here, but the conclusion after they offending the MC is not satisfying. <if this is counted as slice of life part of the story, well, this is getting more and more annoying... 4. Many more thing that makes me uncomfortable when reading this story, but I forgot, I’ll update it when I remember. My favorite part of this story 1. When MC’s become preschool’s teacher 2. How he interacts with children and coax them 3. Worldbuilding and mystery of how his first world and earth connected 4. Side character building is really good Suggestion from me: 1. You can’t just think about the plot, also thinking what you want us as readers to feel, take time to think of what you want the reader to feel in each arc, chapter, or even sentence. 2. Although the characters beside MC is interesting, MC is really annoying, so if it doesn’t change the main plot, please make him change his annoying character. 3. When there is character offend the MC, please make satisfying conclusion of it. 4. I have something in my mind but I don’t know how should I say it, lol. I’ll update the review when the time comes...

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