webnovel
AsimiLykos
AsimiLykosLv155yr
2019-10-03 20:08

1) I absolutely love your story and you have my addiction burning. 2) The only real constructive feedback that I have for you is that when you realise you are using some words too many times (ex. Recomposing or ingress) that you use the thesaurus to give you more options to expand your vocabulary. 3) Last thing, try to utilize words that aren't a mouthful for people to read. Using a softer approach for the sentence "his ingress to the royal capital was a grand spectical to witness." could be changed to "his entrence to the royal capital was a grand sight to see." Those are just some general statements I made up, but the second sentence is far easier for people to read vice the former. 4) Again I love your story and your use of some interesting vocabulary and these are just some suggestions that could help amplify your writing. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU GIVE THIS A READ OVER :D

Liked by 15 people

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Replies1
Bean_Dude
Bean_DudeLv2

Agreed. I really like this story but it's kind of annoying when I have to exit the chapter to look up a word that I've never seen. Ex: Ingress and appellation.

Other Reviews
RockNRage
RockNRageLv5
ReihsRahl
ReihsRahlLv10

I may enjoy a cold and evil MC, but there are several problems: 1st this is way beyond, I’ve read untill chapter 233 and he was the worst person in the whole novel, he is a complete sociopath 2nd his personality is completely flat, he is like a robot, completely devoid of emotions, and incredibly boring. It gets tiring having a psycho MC if he never makes you laugh 3rd and most important: the MC can be a total sociopath, but when the author tries continuosly to justify his choices with some cheap logic and a ridiculous view of the world that can be easily destroyed by anyone with a bit of common sense... well... that’s when u break the limit, if u want a spycho MC fine, but don’t try to make readers take his side as if he could be justify. He can’t and his logic is ridiculous and full of holes. I could go on, but, honestly it’s not worth it. I just add a last thing: the system of the nobles doesn’t make any sense, there is no wolrd were it could work it’s completely idiotic. Even if 99.9% of nobles are complete idiot that decides to keep any resource and technique for themselves there is bound to be someone who does not, and this someone would easily gain power, since it’s been clearly shown that there are countless genius among common people and just providing them the techniques would easily surpass all other powers that have an extremely low number of members die to their idiotic system. It’s impossible that a system that allows less than 1% of the population to cultivate with proper resources can go on for long, since granting proper techniques to common talented people would easily allow to create a way bigger force and it’s impossible that no one ever tried.

mishafond
mishafondLv1

I like the story, the plots not really unique but its entertaining to read. My one issue with this novel is, well, the romance aspect of it. I don't care if the MC is deranged or a lunatic, however it doesn't make any sense why its in the plot. Where exactly does MC even find time for a romance is the grand scheme of things?!?!? It's so unrealistic and contradictory to how you established character... how exactly does romance fit into a novel where the protag is motivated by ambition to overcome the laws of the world in the novel? He wants powers, he actively strives for it and disregards the life of others like insects to achieve what he wants.... and now your trying to make me believe he can suddenly love after all that he's done and willing to do? It's ridiculous. You don't establish the essence of your character as ruthless and power hungry, devoid of feeling and morality, only seeking power, to add in a romance in the middle of the novel.... You might ask why you shouldn't do this? Easy! Because someone willing to do anything for power would NEVER LOVE ANYONE that would become a HUGE weakness. It contradicts your plot and established MC's sense of self/motivations/goals that the author wrote HIMSELF. You could see from the earlier chapters of this novel that the author kept trying to find ways to make a romance happen, inserting the obvious FL every chance he got and it only got worse, especially at around chapter(s) 592+ onwards. It would have been all great except how the MC progressed many many chapters earlier. We know that he's a psychopath, and he lacks any feelings. By the time the romance (AKA lovesick desperate author wants some MEOWWW) comes in, its not only unbelievable, it's an insult to readers intelligence and time spent reading.

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