webnovel
Clain_Rivee
Clain_RiveeLv15yr
2019-11-29 09:28

After reading 181 chapters and enjoying the story over the course of a couple days I felt like I owed it to the author to leave a review. My review will be slightly harsh, as I really do enjoy the story and I feel the author has talent and room to improve. World building This is where I felt the story was sadly lacking. Most LitRPGs or stories in general have some overarching theme. Take a look at novels like Overgeared, Solo Leveling, Legendary Moonlight Sculptor, Everyone Else is a Returnee. RPG elements are an integral part of these stories and have been incorporated in a way that makes them absolutely essential. Dungeons become a place to train awakened humans to defeat whatever opposition humanity faces. Nanomancer Reborn has no overarching theme and meanders endlessly, quite often I feel like I'm reading someone play a MMORPG never veering away from the endless dungeon grind. As I keep reading I continue to have so many questions. Why are there dungeons in this story? What planet is the main character even on? Is it earth? What opposition does the planet face? Why is there no main antagonist? If the MC used to be a tier 6 human then what about the other tiers? What are the main goals of the MC? Sadly 181 chapters in and there is no "plot" besides the MC grinding dungeons with her friends. The only things I know about this world is that there's a place called New York and that there's dungeons. But the story never answers why there are dungeons, or how they came to be, or even if this planet is Earth, as some of the geographical locations are different. Characters I really enjoy the characters in this novel. Shiro is quite the lovable protagonist, and a certified badass to the core. It's quite fun to read the character interactions with her friends and her escapades, however, no characters are without fault and there are quite a few things I would like to point out. One of the things that stood out to me in the first few chapters in this novel is how eager Shiro was to form a team, seeing as she was betrayed by her former teammates and killed. I understand there is a difference between grooming someone from youth and picking up random teammates, but I do find it odd how Shiro never shows any form of suspicion or PTSD from betrayal. The development of many characters are severely lacking, namely Lyrica and Madison. In recent chapters I've seen many commentators become increasingly annoyed at how Shiro seems to hand everything to Lyrica, someone already with a golden spoon, calling her a "leech" and such. Honestly, I'd have to agree with their sentiments, as I do find it strange that two random strays that Shiro picked up develop both hidden classes and hidden proficiency rising to the level of Shiro with ease. I think a great way to appease both the commentators and develop the characters a bit would be to shift the POV to the side characters and show them struggling in a dungeon and getting some decent loot drops rather than having Shiro hand them everything they need.

Liked by 57 people

LIKE
Replies10
zhaderx
zhaderxLv4

Don’t know how far you have gotten now but I agree and disagree with you(mainly because most of your complaints gets better in the later chapters). My advise here is to stick to the end Have nice day!

shadow_4899
shadow_4899Lv2

By the point where I am most of the stuff is explained and the party has devolped a lot more also the reason that shiro trusts hem more easily is because A she can kill them any time B they don’t know too many secrets C because it’d be hard to explain how she can solo dungeons and stuff D because they have A hell of a lot of talent And finally E because she’s pinpointed the betrayal by the light hero and by strangers and she’s not as irrational as to give herself a disadvantage because of that and plus as she said she can’t do everything by herself e g Silvia buff

Nyxarias
NyxariasLv5

You read 174 not 181 Jackass

Lonmar
LonmarLv7

thanks, i didn't even notice some of these points. I stopped much later because of the stopping of the progression of the personalities of the secondary characters ... they had a life / personality. they meet Shiro: major changes. End? and some of these changes are far too sudden. in particular Silvia ... given the conditions of recruitment, she should have been much more hesitant and have a slow integration into the team and have difficult interactions with Shiro ... but no!

OpN
OpNLv14

Wow, what a huge difference. Not to mention that the feature has faults that you can google.

Nyxarias:You read 174 not 181 Jackass
OpN
OpNLv14

Would you say it's justified for a novel to lack the world building in a story 150 chapters into a novel?

shadow_4899:By the point where I am most of the stuff is explained and the party has devolped a lot more also the reason that shiro trusts hem more easily is because A she can kill them any time B they don’t know too many secrets C because it’d be hard to explain how she can solo dungeons and stuff D because they have A hell of a lot of talent And finally E because she’s pinpointed the betrayal by the light hero and by strangers and she’s not as irrational as to give herself a disadvantage because of that and plus as she said she can’t do everything by herself e g Silvia buff
shadow_4899
shadow_4899Lv2

Depending in the overall Lengath of the novel Yes. i’M currently up to date with the book and Honestly? The world buliding is pretty solid. Unlike cultivation novels theirs no changes to it and it stays constistent. everythung is explainable. In the earlier chapters theirs not as much world buliding but no abursdities either, nor is there strsjght up defying of laws and such. if they make rules too esroy they are more likelu to break the, later on, plus it makes sense that lower level beings wouldn’t come know about the rules of the world. After all When your in the lower levels yiu can’t exactly do a whole lot, plus the system doesn’T restrict yiu as much. So i recommend you continue reading it, it onky gets better.(also Thping in webnovel is super annoying. it randomly captalizes and i’m not used to this keyboard so excuse the spelling problems)

OpN:Would you say it's justified for a novel to lack the world building in a story 150 chapters into a novel?
Daoistog87Ap
Daoistog87ApLv13

wish I could give you more thumbs! 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

shadow_4899:Depending in the overall Lengath of the novel Yes. i’M currently up to date with the book and Honestly? The world buliding is pretty solid. Unlike cultivation novels theirs no changes to it and it stays constistent. everythung is explainable. In the earlier chapters theirs not as much world buliding but no abursdities either, nor is there strsjght up defying of laws and such. if they make rules too esroy they are more likelu to break the, later on, plus it makes sense that lower level beings wouldn’t come know about the rules of the world. After all When your in the lower levels yiu can’t exactly do a whole lot, plus the system doesn’T restrict yiu as much. So i recommend you continue reading it, it onky gets better.(also Thping in webnovel is super annoying. it randomly captalizes and i’m not used to this keyboard so excuse the spelling problems)
Daoistog87Ap
Daoistog87ApLv13

have read up to 201. you stopped just short of all the answers you wanted Why are there dungeons? Because system, surely?. why system... does it matter? Yes, it's earth. That was mentioned at the beginning Why does the planet need opposition? (genuine question) Main antagonist: keep reading ... same for the next two questions SPOILER It's earth, but has had parts of other worlds appear on it.

Rohen_Thar
Rohen_TharLv1

Not quite my friend, not quite. Later in the novel, there is an explanation why Shiro feels so close to Lyrica, and also she explains to them all her secrets, and literally all of them. Its almost strange, as OP pointed, that no one wish to betray her, or capitalize on her "special" circumstances, only all of them support her and do everything to please her. Not to mention, that most party members are... [spoiler]not humans, including Madison[end of spoiler]. I read another comment, where reader pointed very accurately, that author is making convenient teammates, items, skills, powers on the road, all for Shiro greatness and coolness. This is a bit over the top. And lastly, why she trust her comrades, its simple, because they are WOMEN'S, and as we read more and more, we can se that author is a hopeless feminist.

shadow_4899:By the point where I am most of the stuff is explained and the party has devolped a lot more also the reason that shiro trusts hem more easily is because A she can kill them any time B they don’t know too many secrets C because it’d be hard to explain how she can solo dungeons and stuff D because they have A hell of a lot of talent And finally E because she’s pinpointed the betrayal by the light hero and by strangers and she’s not as irrational as to give herself a disadvantage because of that and plus as she said she can’t do everything by herself e g Silvia buff
Other Reviews
BrabbitX
BrabbitXLv5
Related Stories

Apocalypse: I Have A Multiplier System

The apocalypse arrived and the humans slowly adapted to the extreme environment. After the apocalypse, Su Jiyai’s life becomes more miserable at her foster parent’s house. Her foster mother kept finding ways to sell her, her cousins wanted to kill her to reduce the burden, and her foster dad tried to take advantage of her. However, it was the moment when her foster parents pushed her to get admitted to the Army instead of their biological daughter, that she left the home and severed her ties with them. When she was admitted into the Army, she fought with zombies with her bare hands as she had no superpowers. Just when Su Jiayi was fighting with the zombies near a mysterious place and was sure she would die, she accidentally triggered a system and became the owner of that mysterious place. Not only did she have a safe place to stay, but she also had a super amazing system that allowed her to multiply the things she obtained from Deminsion Hunting. [Ding! Vending Machine Detected! Congratulations to the host for obtaining the Vending Machine X ∞! The Host can start buying Vending Machines for 200 Federal Coins] [Ding! A Deluxe Room Detected! Congratulations to the host for obtaining Deluxe Room X ∞! The Host can start buying Deluxe Room for 10000 Federal Coins] She opened her own residential area and grocery store. Her grocery store and the rental house soon became an instant hit and people from different places came to please her. As her business was growing, her foster parents came begging her but she just kicked them out. Oh! And wasn’t that the captain of Willow Army whom she had a crush on? Why is he looking at her as a lost treasure when he doesn’t even know her real identity… The story will be fast-paced for the first 19 chapters. The main plot will start after 20 chapters.

LittleRabbit1111 · Fantasy
4.7
282 Chs

The Crown's Seduction

[Warning: r18+/strong mature content] He is her salvation. She, his demise. Yet, he refuses to let her go… Mineah, the youngest Princess of Ebodia, was cursed at birth to remain untainted and bring misfortune to those around her. This prophecy looms over her like a dark cloud, growing bigger every year it does not come to pass. She exists in hushed rumors as a pitiful figure - fragile, meek, unwanted. Underneath that mask is a strong and feisty vixen worthy of being a queen. And this would-be queen has set her eyes on breaking her curse, even if that means tricking the most cunning vampire ever born. Nikolai, though reclusive and enigmatic, is revered by the Kingdom of Valcrez as a wise and powerful ruler. Unbeknownst to his loyal subjects, his image of perfection is a web of lies that if exposed can send their kingdom and everything they hold dear crumbling beneath their feet. When these two find their paths crossed in a marriage alliance, the game of Crown's Seduction begins. But just who is the hunter and who is the prey? ******** Excerpt: “Why are you stripping naked in front of me?” she questioned with a frown, doing little to hide the irritation in her voice. Her goal was to capture only his heart, not his whole body! “Am I not allowed to have a bath with my wife?” he remarked with a cold tone. “I purposely asked for a big tub to just make sure that the two of us will fit in it together.” She sighed, not tearing her gaze away from him as she regained her composure. Seeing him smirk she forced herself to get comfortable as he spoke. “That’s more like it. You said it yourself that no one forced you into marrying me. Instead, you offered and volunteered yourself willingly for it, so I expect that you’ll be confident enough to share a bath with your husband,” Nikolai confidently stated. “After all, we’ll do more than this soon enough.” Shameless… Preventing herself from rolling her eyes, she managed to give him a smile as she said, “Don’t blame me if you die on me then.” **** Note: Volume 1: Main Story Status - Completed (Chapters 1 to 403) Volume 2: Side Story Status - Completed (Chapters 404 to 472) Volume 3: Side Story Status - **** PS: Commissioned Book Cover owned by the Author! Do not use it!

Eustoma_Reyna · Fantasy
4.8
484 Chs

Rebirth of an Idle Noblewoman

She was the illegitimate daughter of the Gu family from N City, and a gloomy coward in everyone’s eyes. She was an unparalleled genius in the finance world, controlling the market as if she could foresee the future. She was an inheritor of ancient medical arts, healing wounds and growing flesh on bones with a single golden needle. A legend in the ancient martial artist world, the goddess of the entertainment industry, a master of Chinese arts… She was dazzling and talented, but also cool, calculating and aloof! Her origins were a mystery… As her origins are slowly uncovered, see how she takes up responsibility, and writes a brilliant page in history! In her past life, she was reduced to an abandoned daughter by her family, and now that she was reborn, she’ll do all she can to change the fate of her and the ones she cares about, showing off and dealing with her enemies like flies on the way. --- He was mysterious and dignified, an enigma who was the strongest in the ancient martial arts world. He was the leader of a mysterious organization in China, killing cold-bloodedly without batting an eyelash. When the cool and enigmatic meets the cold-blooded, watch the show unfold! --- “Miss, I see there is a shadow on your forehead, and there shall be misfortune in your future.” “...Let me tell you now, that is my mommy and not yours, so you better not appear in front of her! It’s extremely easy for me to make a person disappear in this city….” Not soon after, a certain beautiful Miss Gu stood in front of her with a smile. “I’ve never even looked that family of yours in the eye, but...This Imperial Capital is my territory!” --- Mr. Jiang’s quotes: You’re in charge of being pretty and having a good time, I’m in charge of providing for the family. I like her, not someone that looks like her, nor someone that acts like her. I won’t like anyone if it’s not her! If you bully her, I will...Destroy this world… --- TLDR: The female lead’s road to greatness after getting a system by accident.

Road of Flowers · Fantasy
4.8
398 Chs

The Devil's Cursed Witch

The tale of a man who brings death and a girl who denies it. ---- On the haunted mountain in the kingdom, they say there lived a witch. She was born a princess. But even before her birth, the priest declared her to be cursed and demanded her death. They poisoned the mother to kill the baby before she gave birth, but the baby was born out of the dead mother—a cursed child. Again and again, they tried to kill the baby but she miraculously survived every single attempt. Giving up, they abandoned her on the haunted mountain to die but she still survived on that barren land— A witch ‘Why won’t she die?’ Years later, the people finally had enough of the witch and decided to burn the mountain. But the Devil arrived to her rescue and took her with him from that burning place, because dying was not her destiny even then. Draven Amaris. The Black Dragon, who ruled over supernatural beings, the Devil who no one wished to cross a path with. He hated humans but this certain human girl would pull him towards her whenever she was in danger. ‘Is she really a human?’ He took the human with him and named this mysteriously tenacious girl “Ember”, a piece of glowing coal in a dying fire. A soul tainted with vengeance and the darkness of hell, would rise from the ashes and fulfil her revenge. ------ This is the second book from the series of The Devils and Witches. 1st book - Witch's daughter and the Devil's son. 3rd book- The Devil's Betrothed. All books are connected to each other but you can read them as stand-alone.

Mynovel20 · Fantasy
4.6
478 Chs

The General's Pampering Little Foodie Girl

#food Mo Chu was reborn. She opened her eyes to find herself in a world where a thousand years had passed. The docile animals and plants became very aggressive, and elemental abilities that existed only in stories and legends now appeared before her eyes! Fortunately, upon waking up, Mo Chu gained a nice-guy brother who had a sister complex. Unfortunately, she had a one-in-a-million sensitive constitution, so she couldn’t consume 99% of the available food. However, there would always be a solution. If she couldn’t eat the food of this era, couldn’t she come up with new food? And so, she made fries, grilled fish, beggar’s chicken, and various other delicacies that were not available in this future world. As a glutton, Mo Chu was satisfied with this outcome. However… “Wow! What have I been eating all my life? Her food is so delicious, it’s amazing!” “Aside from being delicious, the food can actually increase elemental powers, and its effects are several times better than pills!” “I offer five million Federal Coins!” “I offer ten million. Don’t compete with me! If you do, I’ll fight you!” Mo Chu held up her hands in defeat, feeling helpless. It was only grilled fish. Did they have to get so excited? *** Ning Yiyuan is the only marshal in the Federation and also a top-class expert whose elemental abilities could reach tier 12. Even in an environment where the number of men was double that of women, countless beauties would still throw themselves at him. Yet, he was never fazed. Over the past few decades, Ning Yiyuan was like a monument, always standing at the Federation battlefront. Yet, this monument started to crumble after meeting Mo Chu… “Uncle!” Mo Chu addressed him with her rosy lips, and Ning Yiyuan’s ever stoic face began to crack! He was only 40 this year. In the Federation where the average lifespan of a human was 300 years old, he was considered a youth. So how could he be called an ‘Uncle’? Hmph! He would have a word with this lass!

Yan Shi · Fantasy
4.7
768 Chs