1stSlugLv135yr

2019-09-26 08:23

This review is mostly for the Author and where they need to focus on what to fix with their writing style. Okay, so I've read from start to end (current end Chapter 203, with the ave cost in stones between 4-6 per chapter, which is (VERY) roughly around 5-600 stones in total), and here are my views so far (Warning Spoilers Below!): The Cons: The Grammar is terrible!!! This is a major thing and it needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Every time I see a misspelled word, wrong word or even a missing comma, it ruins the reading experience. It's jarring and disruptive to read smoothly. Your story needs some SERIOUS TLC (tender loving care) with regards to editing! There are also some rather glaring plot holes with regards to the story, mostly involving the time travel aspect. If you're going to play with time travel, you need to clearly and logically sound out the backstory. Simply forcing things to mesh doesn't work for a lot of readers. An example: (I've commented on this before) But the timeline with MC past enemy's is weird due to the fact that they both joined Uni later in their past lives (both around 20-21, that's a 2-3 year difference), but now they've both joined at 18 with no explanation on how this happened. So yes, you can say it's "due to the butterfly effect", but you need to explain HOW this came about. They don't share the shame social circles, nor have they met in this lifetime. So why the enemy female lead is suddenly at Uni with no logical reason, other than "Because!" is silly. The "side villains".... This isn't so much a con on your part, but more of a generalization for the genre you're writing in. Are all the young woman in this world retards? Can't people take rejection and move on? It drives me crazy reading the level of stupidity of this arch-type. It seriously makes me grind my teeth in frustration. Now normally, I should post the "Pros", but seeing as your novel is already highly ranked at the time I've typed this, I feel like you've already nailed down what you need to write. But for future readers, I'll type down a few quick points: The Female lead is a level headed young woman, who is willing to put in the effort to succeed in life on her own terms. Can never say no to cute pets. Female lead can kick ass. That is all.

Reborn : Space Intelligent Woman

ZerahNeko

4.6

2114 Chs