webnovel
Daddy_Ike
Daddy_IkeLv45yr
2019-05-09 07:33

Alright, here are my impression of this story. Keep in mind that what I criticize here are also the problems I'm currently dealing with my own story: Pros: + Descriptions are vivid, good enough to imagine the scene taking place. + A lot of conflicts. + Characters with a lot of personalities behind them (the Man is big dad). What needs to be worked on: - Would be nice to keep dialogue in a separate paragraph - There are time skips already? Are they relevant to the plot at the current moment? - No hints of what the story is going to be about. - A lot of conflicts that need reasoning down the line. I have a good feeling that the author can create lovable and hateful characters on the fly, and having such is what makes good stories prevail. The only problem is the flow of events from one point to the next. Good nonetheless.

Elastic Boundaries

IceSnowball
4.6
4 Chs

Liked by 2 people

LIKE
Replies4
IceSnowball
IceSnowballAuthor

Thank you for your review😊

5yr
IceSnowball
IceSnowballAuthor

Hello, I was a bit confused with 'the Man is big dad'. Is it okay for you to explain what that means? Thanks😊

5yr
Daddy_Ike
Daddy_IkeLv4

I like "The Man" as a character. Big dad is just a memey name, haha.

IceSnowball:Hello, I was a bit confused with 'the Man is big dad'. Is it okay for you to explain what that means? Thanks😊
5yr
IceSnowball
IceSnowballAuthor

I understand now😊

Daddy_Ike:I like "The Man" as a character. Big dad is just a memey name, haha.
5yr
Other Reviews
IceSnowball
IceSnowballAuthor

Thank you for your support and for reading this story😊 I am planning on updating this story very soon. The title and cover might change a bit. I hope you all enjoy😉

5yr

K_A_U
K_A_ULv3

Although its just one chapter, I completely fell in love with it. Not only were they no errors, but the writing style is superb. Not even one mistake was found, it was very easy for me to put my self in the girls shoes. I just loved the whole idea and the tranquility of the scene at the beginning of the chapter. I wonder if the author is going to update soon. I would love to follow this story.

5yr
WithJ
WithJLv11

I can’t comment much regarding the updates and development as there are only 4 chapters in total at the time of this review. The story is not light-hearted. It is grim, told in a stoical manner and sometimes unexpectedly violent. To be honest, I’m rather confused due to the time skips for each chapter. The MC’s motives and reasons for doing things were a bit unclear, although we were sort of given the reasons (she was bullied, something bad happen to her in the past…) The MC was a bit scary in a quiet manner too, which was a surprise for me. However, a lot of things are still unclear and I can’t really piece it together, largely due to the jumping around for each chapter I suppose. Not sure if each chapters were supposed to connect actually or purposely written in a way to illustrate the four different themes of fragility, brutality, insanity and tranquility. There were no glaring mistakes or errors that I found in the writing though.

5yr
Chryiss
ChryissLv5

The writing and style is good. I like the descriptions, and the settings were easy to envision. The MC Belle is interesting. I’m not sure what to make of her. The last chapter, 4, she was different from the restrained, stoical girl in the previous chapters. She actually bit back at Mary, and then she murdered Mark for a reason unknown to us but which sounded like a fair reason to her. I like this duality of cold blooded, light hearted, and quiet, but I hope it better connects it all together. Due to the time skips and shifts in personality, it feels inconsistent/unconnected. The timeline, as mentioned in a comment, left me both confused and intrigued. It sounds like a greater plot is brewing, and I like the mystery aspect. But here too I hope they can better be strung together for clarity so I can piece them together more easily. Questions like is the man from the beginning Mark? Or the noble? What did he do for her to kill him? What is that passage and diamond encrusted key? The stone’s significance? How did a noble end up in this situation? Does she know the true story? You’ve certainly ran with the mystery, or I could just be my usual goldfish self, unable to put all the clues together. XD Regardless, this is only 4 chapters, so there’s much to happen. I look forward to seeing the developments, and this one is definitely going into my library for the great writing and interesting story and characters.

5yr
NatsumeRikka
NatsumeRikkaLv5

Reveal spoiler

5yr
theenngee
theenngeeLv3

Reveal spoiler

5yr
cloudgugu
cloudguguLv4

How I wish there'll be more chapters...😅 As someone who is not accurate in English, this for me is perfect. The way the writer describes the girl's life allows me to empathize her so much. For Character design and story development, I don't have much to say for there is only one chapter. However, I can see that the girl is living a very fragile life as of now. There are many possibilities in this story, with such opening, the plot can be anything. Overall, this is an excellent first chapter. I'll keep your book in my library for now. Hope there'll be an update soon so I can do another review on the character design and story development.

5yr
PeachyPearl
PeachyPearlLv4

It's rare for me to give a 5 star rating but this novel (in chapter 1 itself) earned it and I can't bring myself to give any lesser... The writing quality, as the other reviewers said, it's just flawless and binding. The description you gave was apparently (according to me) was the best possible with a detailed explanation of the surroundings. Character design was intriguing cause I could place myself in the girl's shoes and recreate a scenario of my own. Overall It's simply flawlessly wonderful.

5yr
stella2138
stella2138Lv5

Reveal spoiler

5yr
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