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adorable_angel
adorable_angelLv64yr
2021-02-24 12:50

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Love at First Kiss

poziomowiec
4.6
1002 Chs

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Other Reviews
PsyberRose
PsyberRoseLv12

Looking at the reviews here, and the comments in the novel, there isn't much I can really add on which you are not aware of. Writing Quality: I know English isn't your first language, and that you are making an effort to imrpove but it really is very hard to read. Structurally, it is all over the place as you have so many ideas jumbled into one sentence. I do implore you to do these basics: (i) Use Grammarly. It is free and very useful (ii) Break down your sentences more. (iii) Proper punctuations (full stops) and capitalize. You have to start somewhere, and just slowly get used to the basic grammar writing before doing other things. Story Development: The progress and things that happen are good. You have so many ideas that it makes the story interesting. It has SO MUCH potential. However, if people are unable to follow it due to the inability to read smoothly, a rough gem will never shine. You need to polish it so its shine can be seen. Character Design: The ML and FL are believable. You can understand the ML stone heart and the FL naivety when it comes to falling in love. Keep that up. It is good. I am sorry I cannot give you 5*; I believe in being honest. Only the stability of updates get full marks whereas the rest needs lota of work. All the best, Author.

5yr

AJZHEN
AJZHENLv14

Reveal spoiler

6yr
AJZHEN
AJZHENLv14

Reveal spoiler

6yr
Miss_Romance
Miss_RomanceLv4

You MUST work on editing your story. I'm sorry for the low rating but I couldn't get through the first chapter as there are uncountable grammar and syntax errors. English is my third language but I do my best not to make mistakes in my writings. Please take this into consideration, nobody will carry on reading your novel it you don't work on the mistakes.

6yr
adleena
adleenaLv14

Reveal spoiler

6yr
Ley_Clacio_Reyes
Ley_Clacio_ReyesLv10

Reveal spoiler

4yr
charlotmoon
charlotmoonLv6

😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹😹

5yr
SelfFishReader
SelfFishReaderLv14

please find time to fix the use of english word the story is good but the editor or writer made some mistakes in using english words just my opinion I don't want to offend you but what I'm saying is a fact I hope you can continue your love of making novel take this as a practice

3yr
hartpeler
hartpelerLv10

read for first 20 chapters already. as an aspiring author myself. I don't mind about the grammar issue so much as I'm pretty technical to the level that I could tolerate 7th language English level. but the problem is on the paragraph breaks. if you're writing fantasy. then it's normal that you have a lengthy narration / conversation quote. but this is the romance genre where everyone reads it as "loving story". consider to fix your paragraph. made it max 5 sentences/paragraphs or 3 sentences/paragraphs. world background wise. you need to improve it as I see that you're using the heavy narration, try to change world building from narration to conversation .it will works 4/5 for the determination of the author to write despite of no one seems reading on it.

4yr
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