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PsyberRose
PsyberRoseLv125yr
2019-11-02 09:41

Looking at the reviews here, and the comments in the novel, there isn't much I can really add on which you are not aware of. Writing Quality: I know English isn't your first language, and that you are making an effort to imrpove but it really is very hard to read. Structurally, it is all over the place as you have so many ideas jumbled into one sentence. I do implore you to do these basics: (i) Use Grammarly. It is free and very useful (ii) Break down your sentences more. (iii) Proper punctuations (full stops) and capitalize. You have to start somewhere, and just slowly get used to the basic grammar writing before doing other things. Story Development: The progress and things that happen are good. You have so many ideas that it makes the story interesting. It has SO MUCH potential. However, if people are unable to follow it due to the inability to read smoothly, a rough gem will never shine. You need to polish it so its shine can be seen. Character Design: The ML and FL are believable. You can understand the ML stone heart and the FL naivety when it comes to falling in love. Keep that up. It is good. I am sorry I cannot give you 5*; I believe in being honest. Only the stability of updates get full marks whereas the rest needs lota of work. All the best, Author.

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RedSonia
RedSoniaLv15

I love your review ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– As a budding novelist, I'm craving for some constructive feedback, and I hope that you can review my novel as well. Note: I have two novels... My first one is 1000+ chapters and it starts slow in terms of romance... but later it heats up with romance, mystery, drama, and all the other spices related to main characters and the people they interact with. My second novel is about a month old and I hope that the difference is my writing style is obvious. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘

PsyberRose
PsyberRoseLv12

Hi. I will look at it when I have the time, though it might take a week or so at least. I am a bit busy with my own novel and real-life work. ๐Ÿ˜Š

RedSonia:I love your review ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– As a budding novelist, I'm craving for some constructive feedback, and I hope that you can review my novel as well. Note: I have two novels... My first one is 1000+ chapters and it starts slow in terms of romance... but later it heats up with romance, mystery, drama, and all the other spices related to main characters and the people they interact with. My second novel is about a month old and I hope that the difference is my writing style is obvious. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘
PsyberRose
PsyberRoseLv12

Oh. Could you please put the titles of your novels? Thanks.

RedSonia:I love your review ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’– As a budding novelist, I'm craving for some constructive feedback, and I hope that you can review my novel as well. Note: I have two novels... My first one is 1000+ chapters and it starts slow in terms of romance... but later it heats up with romance, mystery, drama, and all the other spices related to main characters and the people they interact with. My second novel is about a month old and I hope that the difference is my writing style is obvious. ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ‘
RedSonia
RedSoniaLv15

No worries! I absolutely understand ๐Ÿ˜‰

PsyberRose:Hi. I will look at it when I have the time, though it might take a week or so at least. I am a bit busy with my own novel and real-life work. ๐Ÿ˜Š
RedSonia
RedSoniaLv15

Novel #1: " Is this destiny? " Novel #2: " Accident Prone " Thank you! ๐Ÿ˜˜

PsyberRose:Oh. Could you please put the titles of your novels? Thanks.
William_John_3734
William_John_3734Lv1

Here

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