This is an update after my last review. Given your response I went back into it and just read the rest of the story and I’ll keep my criticisms and positives ******. On the one hand, characterization is still a big issue. Some characters are just given a block of choppy words that settles as a description while some others aren’t mentioned at all. The plot has slightly improved along the way with some obvious efforts to make it more impactful, though I will keep this spoiler free. Some of the changes are enjoyable and make sense. There are a few characters that act very unlike themselves, though this can be explained away with alternate universe shenanigans so it didn’t impact much. However the story continues on with a lot of characters being two dimensional and literally every female that sees the MC falling head over heels for his body. Besides One. There are some issues with pacing, blocks of plot seemingly cut off abruptly with the scene shifting elsewhere. Though it is good for worldbhilsing and developing a readers knowledge on the perspective of other characters the transitions between could use work. There is still an issue with the MC making blind leaps in knowledge for no real reason and being correct, even though it was established at the start he was not super intelligent and never seemingly gained super intelligence. There’s a lack of minor consequences for a fair amount of actions, namely actions that would affect the MC’s relationship with other characters being ignored and never brought up again beyond some few exceptions. The writing definitely needs some work, pacing is all over the place with minor errors or confusing shifts in dialogue. In the future please refrain from having quotation marks separating two sentences said by the character One after the other unless you intend to put descriptive text between. That’s about all I can come up with off the top of my head so on to the other hand. There is a marked improvement in effort regarding the plot and it’s direction. There is also obvious efforts towards character interactions beyond ‘Im the coolest guy ever’ ‘yes you are we’ll do what you say.’ The design choices for characters are at least thought out and use good references for designs so I have no issues there beyond maybe describing them a little more beyond ‘this costume from this version of the character.’ Sorry that there’s a fair bit more criticism, I’m not really good at pointing out positives. Anyway, that’s my review for where I’m up to, chapter 41, and I guess I’ll keep reading it. I’ll do a new review should you stick with it up to chapter 80.
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noted. thx for the feedback. such a pity my rating from you is so low... will try my best to correct it
oz serum enhanced intelligence..it was in the comic...but yeah he didn't say it...
