webnovel
Doge_Blade
Doge_BladeLv144yr
2020-04-05 12:32

Badbadbadbadbadbadbadbadbad MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE, NTR IS SHIT, IF YOUR GOING TO PUT HIM IN ICHIGO, MAKE IT GO BY LIKE 2 CHAPTERS EXPLAINING AND LEADING UP TO IT, AND DONT LET HIM TAKE OCER THE MC’S BODY AND SHIT SHITTY AUTHOR

Liked by 9 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
choros
chorosLv14

After reading up to chapter 40 this is what I think you should fix. First of all, you should really start to take grammar more seriously as it distracts viewers from the story. Second, please think more on the dialogue and not just make things up on the fly. I've watched Bleach before and the way you present these characters through dialogue just doesn't match up to the way you present them. I guess you could use the MC to influence them into becoming the character you portray, but it would have to be a gradual process and not just a instantaneous event..I almost forgot, Please for the love of god stop the swearing in every other conversation. It's fine if you do it to add emphasis, but you can't just keep using cuss words so frequently cause, again, it doesn't fit in with the Bleach world. And finally, please don't make this into a harem and take a step back. When I read how ICHIGO just grabbed INOUE's ass, I internally cringed cause it just came out of nowhere. But just from...interaction, I can tell that you're probably gonna do the,"Protagonist sees pretty girl and then go f**ks her in the next chapter" trope. I know you know something about how an actual relationship works, or at least how it's suppose to work so please don't just ignore common sense and/or common decency while writing about relationships. I am fully aware that at the end of the day you are the author, I am a random viewer, and anything can be whatever you want it to be when you write your story. I just always liked the concept of fanfictions, because it explores so many alternatives to original story. I have seen so many good fanfictions that just blew me away cause it went in a direction that I never even thought of; some even blew me away cause even though it went in a predictable direction it just did it beautifully. I never write reviews and I understand that this is a long rant but for some reason I find myself caring about your improvement...Oh and please stop capitalizing the characters' names; just capitalizing the first letter is enough.

SirSnuffy
SirSnuffyLv12
FiragaFiesta
FiragaFiestaLv3

Shit. That's it, no other words to describe this author and his works, all of them. Horny, Rapist, Retarded the writer can be called the result of a woman being raped by a dog with this type of content. I don't understand what people find good in this and how they call negative reviews as bad but, here's the reason. 1. It's a fanfic so him breaking story is good but, he brings back the original mc? He brings Ichigo back after taking over his body and that Ichigo becomes a sex offender? What? Basically, a ****ty sorry piece of **** mc. 2. Horny. The definition of the MC and the author. He says he tries hard, but if hard is trying to use your dick to type then it's self explanatory. Oh, and yes all his stories have that kind of horniness, if you hate Issei, don't read this because he's just Issei but worse, and that's for all his stories. 3. System. Shitty, idea of a system. Shitty idea of a system. There is no point to the story because the system is the story. Keep that in mind. 4. Messy Harem, to be honest, I have no qualms about harem or no harem, but harem as stupid as this author's brains? Bad. Don't read for harem, unless you're one of those retarded "Harem Please" assfucks. 5. Grammar. I by no means, am a totally retarded grammar Nazi but if you don't like "!!!!!?!??????!?!?" And "SEION IS A DOG!!!?!!??!???" type of **** then go away, this author can't stop his caps fetish. Grammar is hard for everyone but this guy might just be decently nice, if he didn't have the imagination of a 3 year old dog and the worse use of (!) (?) in the entire site. 6. Does he get better? I wouldn't know, I didn't bother reading more than a few 70 - 100ish chaps. Oh, and yes I've read his other stories from FT to DxD to Danmachi. All are **** and no, I don't think he got better, he's not a specialized dog breed, he's an askal. 7. What about the good reviews? As you can see, they're all spams by retarded dogs and bird brains, you don't see any of the specially famous writers or reviewers giving this praise, nor do you see someone with decent brains tell us why it's good. This novel and all by its author is cat****, the protectors of this novel might just be the dog author making different accounts and fighting against us. There's no good in me antagonizing this guy but his fall from the ranks is only normal, why? Because he is a **** author and his ****ty writing didn't appeal to the majority of readers, especially female ones. Don't compare this to E.P.I.C, that is a justified, amazing fanfic. This is a chaotically justified ****ty fanfic created by a mongrel author. Females be warned White Knights be warned Good people be warned Intellectuals be warned Cool people be warned Peeps with Common Sense be warned This is ****. Every person who liked this is in need of help. My opinion and don't bother replying with your barks and growls Seion. I don't talk animal language. Oh, and yes. There is NTR, borderline rape, **** all romance (too **** to be actually called one) if that helps you stay away from this. I'm no decent author nor a decent person but if someone like me recognizes something like this as bad, then it is bad. Again, my opinion and you can believe it or punish your eyes to read this. I'm just trying to help others by keeping them away from this thing.

Related Stories