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One_Who_SeeksLv45yr
2019-06-10 08:34

There are some suggestions tho, which I hope you take as a constructive criticism for your own improvement. You don't really need to be adamant in explaining the system but at least include some subtle hints or few information regarding it. The MC is great for developing so keep at it. I just hope you don't take his ruthlessness in later chapters. A cold dagger slices the hand that touches it. Don't go overboard in being conceited tho, a shadow may bask in the light but they stay firm relative in their position. The harem, i approve your building up too. Keep it not as rush, it relish the flavor. Character introduction should be firm and their encounter somewhat distinct than the others. In this your doing a good job. Nice building up Natalie, I like hardworking characters that although seen with shade of frost but within them a summer breeze. The world building could use some work. It is alright tho so I say slightly above average. Make people be absorbed in the explanation. Such as make some detailed overview to work the reader's imagination. The greatest working hand of the author is his reader's imagination so do experiment your own style in captivating that aspect. Of course you can't cater everyone so don't compromise the story for just about everyone. This is not because I don't like the story. It is good and interesting but I'll be frank that I'm not much sold. This is the highest I could give for now. I hope your growth would be outstanding. Current chapter: 128 I'll be taking my leave then.

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