webnovel
kenskinx
kenskinxLv146yr
2018-05-29 11:34

Very 🐌 🐌 updates not to mention sometimes plot don't connect and continue . Overall very promising but lacks effort on part of author. Would like to see more of background development to make story richer otherwise it is just like Dragon blood warrior only focussing on sex Will not get story far one needs balance. Look at mars work and you will know.

System Creator

Broughtwaorld2
4.1
7 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies1
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

thank you for your review

6yr
Other Reviews
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

Hi author here, till chapter 9 I will try to lay down the foundation for mc and after that I will start to develop character and world. Please try and bear with the writing. As for Indian characters, i am an indian and would like to promote the culture of India( I really dont have much knowledge of chinese culture) thank you, and appreciate you guy's viewership.

6yr

FanHarem
FanHaremLv13

I don't understand all the bad reviews, most of u didn't even read the story before commenting. The author himself said he is still a noob and will make some mistakes, so cut him some slack people, the author has some good idea, don't let it go to waste.

6yr
Mythfury
MythfuryLv6

Very interesting and unique novel...keep it up .just do not quit halfway.also plz explain more in world background ...................................................................................................😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

6yr
Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

hi author here. Sorry for such a mess up. I assure you this story is even better than last time. please do support me by reading this again as i commit myself to atleast 1 chap update

6yr
Nileon
NileonLv15

Reveal spoiler

6yr
mugglemortal
mugglemortalLv5

Let's see how that ***** shweta brags now huh. Absolutely loving this novel, hopefully you can go all out in production after your exams thanks for the great story

6yr
Luft_Rauser
Luft_RauserLv7

5 star for u now give me more updates ................... .................... ..................... .. . YDysfzufxfuxgjgjgjxjfhffjxzfhydzzfhzfxjggcjgcjhfxfhxfhxfhfjfjxgcgjgxj .. .... .

6yr
Skully_
Skully_Lv13

**Brutal Mode** Engaged Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story. . Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend. Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai. Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters. Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?

6yr
mercifuljourney
mercifuljourneyLv10

The op name and the op summary got me.🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌

6yr
RiskyA
RiskyALv7

Mooooorreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee V ^ V ¥ 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥

6yr
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