webnovel
kenskinx
kenskinxLv146yr
2018-05-29 11:34

Very 🐌 🐌 updates not to mention sometimes plot don't connect and continue . Overall very promising but lacks effort on part of author. Would like to see more of background development to make story richer otherwise it is just like Dragon blood warrior only focussing on sex Will not get story far one needs balance. Look at mars work and you will know.

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Broughtwaorld2
Broughtwaorld2Author

thank you for your review

Other Reviews
Nileon
NileonLv15
Skully_
Skully_Lv13

**Brutal Mode** Engaged Starting a story is easy! Just drown the reader in so much info dumping and exposition that they can’t possibly escape! Once the reader is stuck, then trap them in a series of MC weak to strong building and ass-kicking of arrogant masters. They will never escape then and will be forced to read the rest of your story. . Originality - 0/5 - It's a cultivation novel. No, wait! It's a System novel. Why not throw in naruto fanfic while you're at it? Oh LOL he was watching Naruto! Close enough. Wait Wait. Let me guess his cultivation system will be based on Dragon Ball? That will be the trifecta of Webnovel fads. Please ascend. Story - 2/5 There is a story. There is. This is not a paper on a system cultivator, is it? Am I reading one endless monologue? I am sure this story would be great if I could get past this wall of text hiding Mount Tai. Characters - 1/5 The characters speak to me. Literally. The MC rarely speak to someone else, unless its a cardboard cut out cliche. Parent, Grandpa. Quite literally named Grandpa trope so the author doesn't have to show anything about him to the reader #shortcut #efficientwriting. The reader will know from all the other copy and paste novels who use Grandpa. Teacher - angry and hates MC. Why? Who cares we need people in authority to be irredeemable illogical antagonists so the hero MC can make them look like fools in a few chapters. Flow - 5/5 The flow is excellent. I enjoyed reading this exposition. The Authors note explaining the yet to be introduced system was perfect. Why let the story show the system. Just tell the reader and yeah Authors note works perfectly. Btw When does the story start?

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